Years ago, I read The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Not because I wanted to necessarily be more effective, but because everyone else in management consulting was reading it (so it HAD to be good, right?). While a lot of the book was lost on me, the opening sticks with me to this day. If you had to write your own obituary, what would it say? Would it focus on your professional accomplishments and accolades? Your contribution to making the world a better place? The love of your family and friends?

In so many self help books, inspirational seminars and uplifting songs we hear the message to live like we’re dying. No one ever wished from their death bed that they’d spent more time at the office. We have to make the future we want – create history every day.

We all know these things are true. But in the hustle and bustle of life – especially life with kids – it can become all too easy to focus on just getting through the day. Existing rather than truly living. We know that this can have a major impact on our lives (damaging our health, increasing stress, short-changing our happiness). But have you ever stopped to think about how this really impacts your kids?

A few weeks back, I caught Matt Lauer interviewing Jennifer Lopez on The Today Show. They went through the standard celebrity chit chat about her divorce, being named the most beautiful person alive (clearly my submission was lost in the mail…), American Idol, blah, blah, blah. What stopped me in my tracks was her answer when Matt asked what she wanted her kids to say about their childhood. JLo replied that she wanted them to feel loved and protected. To eat the same kinds of foods and be surrounded by family like she had as a child. While she had more to offer her kids financially than her parents did, it was more important to her that they have the same childhood experiences as she did, because that’s what made her into the woman she is today. The love and support of her family helped her to believe that she could accomplish anything.

While I am embarrassed to say that I am taking parenting advice from JLo, it did make me stop and think. What will my kids say about their childhood when they grow up? In some ways, it’s very much like your “parental obituary”. If you want your kids to feel that they were loved and supported, that they had a mom that was there for them – you gotta be there. Starting NOW. True, most of us can’t just quit our jobs or let the house fill with dust bunnies while we spend every waking moment making memories with the little guys, but we can do more.

When Angel and Victor look back on their childhood, I want them to be able to say that they KNEW they were loved. That mommy and daddy made them believe they could be anything they set their mind to, and supported them every step of the way.  I want them to have happy memories of family time – not just major vacations or holidays, but silly every day moments. I want them to remember that their mom was a BadAss career woman, but ALWAYS their BadAssMama FIRST.

If you’ll excuse me, I have to get busy making history…

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