Personally, I'm getting pretty sick of the whole "Can women have it all" debate. So, I've decided to add my two cents (translation - give the REAL answer so that we can move on to something much more important like why Rocky Road ice cream should be considered a controlled substance, or a fool-proof method to get your kids to behave like perfect little angels in three easy steps)
Here's the truth - having it all is a myth. Like Big Foot, an empty inbox or keeping off the "last" five pounds, the pursuit of having it all is a pipe dream. First off, who defines what "having it all" means? As your life and priorities change, can you still claim to have it all if you've decided that you want something else or something more? If everyone's definition of having it all varies, who's to say if we've actually attained the holy grail of having-it-all-edness?
Like fat free cheese and pants with front pleats, I believe that the myth of having it all was created by evil male scientists hell-bent on pissing off all the hard working women of the universe.
On a serious note, I do believe that the United States has a painfully long way to go in terms of providing safety nets for parents of both genders to pursue life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness while paying our mortgages or pursuing an ambitious career if that is our choice. Mandatory paid parental leave should be a given. The fact that we are the only "developed" nation without it is more than a joke. It's a damned shame. An embarrassment. Absolutely ridiculous.
The debate over whether women should keep their foot on the gas throughout their careers or take a detour every now and again to raise a family is the definition of a first-world problem. To be in the position to hold a C-suite executive role or top level government post is rarified air for anyone - man or woman. Anyone having this discussion clearly does not have to worry about where the next rent check is coming from or how they are going to feed their children. And I feel comfortable saying this because I am in the fortunate position at this time to have such problems. I am a relatively high-powered executive in a well-paying role who has the luxury of worrying about whether I should be pushing for a bigger job or pushing for a bigger life. At the end of the day, my situation allows me the CHOICE. Far too many women - and men - in this country, struggling to feed their families do NOT have that choice.
Let's talk about that. Let's talk about something that really matters.
The mommy wars are bullshit.
It's time to move on...
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It seems that many people
It seems that many people feel free to fuss over working moms not spending enough one on one time with our children, but nobody dares tell a stay at home parent that they are spending too much one on one time with a child. The mommy wars won't be over until this issue is dealt with.
I liked your post! It did get
I liked your post! It did get me thinking. I don't agree that the "mommy wars" will be over until more stay at home parents do their part to contribute to their communities. There are many schools, churches and other organizations that welcome these parents with open arms. I feel bad for the children of some stay at home parents who isolate themselves and don't set an example by providing service to their communities.
I suspect the controversy in
I suspect the controversy in the comments you received is an indication of a post well done. Your post got people thinking and talking. Isn't that the way that any real change begins ? Bravo !
I suspect the controversy in
I suspect the controversy in the comments you received is an indication of a post well done. Your post got people thinking and talking. Isn't that the way that any real change begins ? Bravo !
I don't often respond to
I don't often respond to critical comments, but I feel compelled to do so here.
Let's start with CheB@real - Whle everyone is certainly welcome to their opinions, your attack on my choice to open a blog with humor did nothing to help move the conversation forward (although as a geek at heart I did appreciate the ample sprinkling of SAT words, particularly "pablum" - brilliant). While I agree that change in the workplace is critical, I think that we as women can be part of the problem as well. We must own our right to be BOTH workers and mothers. Period. When in a position to change the workplace (as I am in my role), we must do it (as I do).
With regards to your critique of my fifth paragraph, I am actually most disturbed by this. As a women born in the murder capital of Northern California, surrounded by poverty and families truly trying to make it through the week, I find it offensive that you would dismiss my statements as politically correct. They are real and come from a real place.
Finally, as to your attack on my use of profanity - my screen name is The BadAssMama. What did you expect?
It's ridiculous to compare
It's ridiculous to compare our diverse workforce to people in other developed countries! Americans are hard-working people. Comparing Americans to Europeans who take month long vacations and 2 hour liquid lunches is ridiculous. We are still the greatest nation on the planet because we have so many hard workers at all levels of our society. The productivity of a European worker is much less than that of an American one. Americans have the choice to work hard or not get ahead. Parents have the choice to work hard or not get ahead. I feel that people who are financially well off enough to be stay at home parents should give back to the community by volunteering in schools and other places where their help is needed. I do feel that many stay at home parents are lazy and need to be more greatful for their fortunes. As a working parent, I do have a problem with stay at home parents who don't contribute to their communities.
Your first three paragraphs