I once read somewhere that the biggest career decision you can make is choosing the right person to marry. My husband has been my rock from day 1. I am by nature a very lazy person. I make up these thoughts in my mind that I will learn how to swim, how to sow etc., but deep down inside, I would just rather curl up like a shrimp on the sofa and watch television… Yes, that is how I love my ‘me time’. And it was surprising to everyone in my family when I decided to pursue my Ph.D. They were even more surprised when I graduated with my Ph.D. But everyone who knows me realizes that the strength to achieve all that came from my husband.

There have been times, like in every marriage where I would have signed on the dotted line if I had a divorce attorney at my disposal then and there. But we are normal middle class people (thank God!) and not having those comforts provides us with the secret opportunity to calm down and think. Everytime I get mad at my husband, I refresh my memory on the qualities that makes him the best husband in the world.

1) He never lies - I realize that everyone lies, mostly white, and sometimes otherwise. But thanks to my mother-in-law, my husband is the modern day honest Abe. I can always rely on him for honest opinion, however harsh that may be.

2) He will never cheat on me – It might seem to some people that we can never be too sure… But I can. He is just too lazy to go out of his way to lie in the event of an affair and too lazy to actually take the effort to court and date someone!

3) He is an excellent breadwinner – Many people might term him as a workaholic, but for someone like me who had an absent and not so responsible father and thus grew up extremely poor, I am grateful that my husband takes pretty good care of us.

So what if he forgets my birthday; it comes only once a year. What if he acts more like a boy than a man; that is one of the reasons our son loves playing with him. What if he occassionaly talks to me with his eyes glued at his professional journals; that is the well-read person that I love to show off at our office parties.

It is important in many ways that we try to remember the great qualities that made us fall in love with them in the first place. It is often difficult to do that in light of an argument or a fight that may have just occurred, but it is possible and certainly worth it.