Are you as annoyed by the so-called mommy wars as I am?

The press, and some mom bloggers, hated Marissa Mayer for her “tough” work-at-work policy.  They scoffed at Sheryl Sandberg's “class-biased” call to lean in to your ambition.  

Every time the press discusses Ms. Mayer or Ms. Sandberg they are compelled to include a conversation about class or feminism.

The newest splash is that Yahoo now offers new moms the ability to take up to 16 weeks of paid maternity leave and new dads can take eight weeks of paid paternity.  

If a male CEO decided to grant one of the most generous maternity and paternity leave policies in the United States he would be hailed as a progressive hero. Marissa Mayer is characterized as an anti-feminist laggard.  

When former Apple executive Ron Johnson, stepped down as JCPenny’s CEO in April, his total compensation package was “1795 times that of former JCPenny fashion jewelry saleswoman Rebecca Gonzales in 2011.”  Yet, the big press was around is inability to turnaround the sinking retailer.

Was Mr. Johnson classified as an anti-feminist classist.  No, he was deemed to have made poor decisions that were costly for the retailer.

Marissa Mayer is trying to save her own big sinking ship.  She has to make hard decisions, many which aren’t popular.  Yet her decisions are evaluated based on other people’s feminist ideas not on the results of her company.

The worst part is the cynicism connected with Yahoo’s decision to grant expanded leave for families.  A Huffington Post article, Yahoo Doubles Paid Maternity And Paternity Leave To Draw Talent, Not To Make Amends, says this is not an empathetic gesture, it is a calculated move to lure talent to the company. 

Pardon my French but no shit.  Would any CEO be hailed as competent and competitive if his or her decisions were based on making amends to a fickle press and angry bloggers?

If you want to measure the fairness and feminism of Marissa Mayer and Sheryl Sandberg then measure the yardstick across the board to all C-Level executives.  

What is most significant about Yahoo’s maternity and paternity leave policies is the ability for dads to take eight weeks of paid leave.  

This one of the most generous paternity leave policies period and it signals to everyone that child care responsibility doesn’t rest squarely in the lap of the mother.  How much better is 16 weeks of maternity leave if your husband is at home doing his part for eight of those weeks?

Who is talking about that giant step forward?  

If we want to talk about feminism and the ability to keep working moms invested in their careers, then build the expectation that men will take time to step away from their careers to raise their kids.

As stated by Rachel Sklar in NPR’s article, Yahoo’s Marissa Mayer Expands Parental Leave,  "It's a smart move. It suggests a long-term strategy. This is a great precedent.”

As I said in a previous post, What Really Hurts Working Moms, families need flexible work schedules, comprehensive child care policies, redesigned family and medical leave, and equal pay.

Don’t be distracted by the buzz around our most famous female C-Suite Executives. Take advantage of it.  If you are looking for more flexibility there’s no better time to create a plan to ask for it.