Deciding to become a mom was one of the biggest and most exciting decisions of my life.

For many years I thought I never wanted kids.

It honestly never even crossed my mind until I was in my early 30’s and met my husband. I guess it took meeting a man I could imagine having kids with to uncover my maternal instinct.

I had been living a very adventurous life up until that point. In fact my husband and I met teaching sailing in Mexico.

I was having lunch with a female attorney who is a partner in a large law firm. We were discussing the strategies she uses to build her practice.  She said the key to her success was her ability to be singularly focused on her goals.  

I so appreciated hearing that advice and it got me thinking about how busy and distracted working moms can be.  If we are asked to help out, we feel compelled to jump in and get the job done regardless of the importance of the task. That isn’t the best strategy to build a satisfying career.

Unfortunately, this happens.  Ugh.

Despite our best efforts, employers do lie.  And people can get caught in a web that impacts both their professional and personal lives.

Regardless of how much you like your career and working or how much you want to stay home, most women struggle with their decision. After you do make the decision to work – despite your confidence level – you face every mom’s guilt that stems from the conversations in your own head and from what others say around you.

When returning to work - after a few years at home - some employers (unfortunately) cringe at the thought of hiring someone who has been out of the workforce.  If you apply for a job and hear "well, you have been out of the game for awhile", you might cringe yourself.  

Ouch.

How do you handle this?

First, take a few steps back.  Before applying, get ready.  You want to be able to effectively and efficiently address this question.

Preparation and Goal Setting

Last month I celebrated my birthday with my usual long run, during which I expected to pass by some farm animals.  I always manage to either live or work in a town within running distance of farm animals, horses, cows, bison, perhaps some quail.  Luckily, my school is near a large body of water, which to us water sign babies is always a renewing sight. During the second mile, as I closed in upon the banks of the Salmon River, five deer crossed my path, unmolested by truck or tractor.

As a professional, when I got pregnant I realized for the first time that this playing field we call life isn't equal after all. It was a nasty lesson to learn - especially when all I wanted to do was be psyched about being a new mom. Instead I found myself having to combat the perception that I would be less committed to my career and my clients and in fact lots of folks wondered if I'd throw in the towel altogether and stay home after the baby was born. Weird, huh?

The winner of this round is yet to be undecided.

Thankfully, this particular battle has nothing to do with working mom guilt. No, this is the war between who I am when I act in accordance to my upbringing and who I am when I make a conscious effort to break free of my upbringing.

I’m talking in riddles. I apologize.

If you’re a working mother, you are producing one of the most hilarious and heartwarming shows out there.  And you are doing it for a very selective audience – you, your family, colleagues and friends.

As you well know, it takes a talented Producer to keep a show on the air for many years and that is YOU.

Let's be clear that I am writing this post at 9:30 on a Sunday morning and I am totally blowing off church. Yes I am a sinner. A sinner raised by an atheist mother and a father who believes life after death is one long dirt nap.

Interestingly enough it was my non-believer father who inspired toady's post. Last night we had some family over (including folks from out-of-town) to celebrate my youngest son's birthday which was, as you moms all know, a circus.