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The weather is cold and you’re sometimes stuck in the house, with nothing to do. It’s time to work on blending your stepfamily! Blended families get to know each other better by doing things together.
Plan a few family projects.
It’s time to clean out the attic, garage or guest bedroom. Assign family members different tasks, but make sure they are still working as a team. You can even take the opportunity to get their bedrooms cleaned out. Give one child a garbage bag for donations to charity, and a second child a garbage bag for trash. After the room is picked up, assign the same team to dust and vacuum the room. When one project is completed- celebrate together by having a special meal, or stopping to eat a special treat.
Provide fun opportunities for stepsiblings to connect
Have available board games, the Wii, PSIII or XBox stocked with games, or even a set of checkers or puzzle left out on the table. As much as my teenagers love technology, we had a wonderful checkers tournament the last weekend they were all here. Once my husband beat the first child in checkers, there was a raging battle between the kids to see who could beat him! They teamed up, as a group, to learn his techniques and strategies, so one of them could win.
We have also left out a winter puzzle for several weeks. It’s tough, even for an older child, to walk past the puzzle without trying to find a piece or two. Once they sit down, it’s very easy for a stepparent or stepsibling to join them, and work together on the puzzle.
When the kids are busy doing things- whether fun or work, they are getting to know each other, and bonding as a family. It sometimes happens naturally, but as a parent in a stepfamily, providing multiple opportunities to connect will make it easier and happen faster.
Begin Planning for Summer Trips
I know it’s the middle of winter, but it’s time to start introducing the idea of traveling together as a family. Bring home brochures from travel agencies, and guidebooks from the library. Find out what locations your kids are interested in visiting. Start talking about types of trips: do you have an active family that would enjoy backpacking and hiking for a week? Or- is your family the type that would love an all-inclusive resort, with comfortable beds and air conditioning? There are also economical cruises – that offer nonstop activities for your family.
Remember- the adults make the final decisions, but it’s great to get input from your blended family members. Stepsiblings will discover that they have more in common with each other, as they voice their likes and dislikes for various types of trips. Once you have an idea of what interests them (and what doesn’t interest them) it’s time to do research and figure out what works for your families schedule and budget. Remember- spending more money doesn’t mean you’ll have a more wonderful time, or even that you love your children more. Children value the time you spend with them, not the money. You goal is to create memories for them…memories of time spent with parents who love them and stepsiblings who are now a part of their family.
Shirley Cress Dudley is a marriage and family therapist. She is the founder of The Blended and Step Family Resource Center and author of Blended Family Advice. Shirley has a passion for helping blended and stepfamilies grow strong and be successful. Sign up for our Free newsletter and receive a Free Report- Top Ten Worst Mistakes You Can Make in Your Blended Family,
