My oldest son will turn thirteen next week. He is doing all the things teenage boys are supposed to do, like teasing his siblings and pulling away from his mom. Max and I have had a complicated relationship over the years. He is severely dyslexic and dysgraphic, a nonreader in third grade. He and I have spent countless hours wrangling with homework and school projects. I read everything aloud to him until the middle of fourth grade. It really wasn’t until this year, in seventh grade, that he became capable and confident enough to do almost all of his work on his own. It isn’t always pretty between the two of us. It pains me to say it, but our temperaments are very similar, which can be tricky at times. It seems every time I’m cooking dinner, he is right under me in the kitchen, crafting up his dinner before dinner, making more mess for me to clean up. Let me be clear, Max is an amazing kid. I did say he was just like me, didn’t I ? This boy of mine is fascinated by the world and the people who live in it. The further from home, the more unusual it is, the more interested he is. He knows the capitals of most nations and refers to cities around the world by their airport code. He is passionate about geography, people and travel. Max is taking a 19 day trip to six countries in Europe this summer. He is going with a well respected student travel organization, People to People. Today I received an email containing his daily itinerary for the trip. I opened it, started reading, and have been weeping ever since. I’ve actually given myself a headache ! I really didn’t want him to take the trip, for my own selfish reason : I am his mom and I will miss him. As I have consistently said to Max and his dad, who thinks this is a great idea, it isn’t about me. Just because it is the right thing for him doesn’t mean it is easy for me. This isn’t necessarily what I want him to do, but I know it will be good for him. He will get to see the world he reads about constantly. He will grow and learn. But he will be thirteen when he goes, still so young. No matter what, he will see and do things without his family, and come back a different person than when he left. I’m been pretty fond of the person he’s been for the past almost thirteen years. I’m still crying. I think I may be doing a lot of crying between now and July 16 at 3:50 pm, when he comes back home.