The media has written much about the great divide – okay, let’s be honest, the word used is “war” – between working mothers and stay at home mothers, laden with statistics about the impact of a women’s career on children’s academic success and behavioral issues and the like.  Depending on who’s reporting and how the statistics are interpreted, the results can be positive or negative – either a mother’s career is detrimental to a child’s academic success and social skills development, or a mother’s career represents positive role modeling and self-determination for women and girls.  If you’ve ever listened to Dr. Laura, you are well aware of the disdain with which she views working mothers. Mothers who do not work outside the home call in to her radio show and introduce themselves as “I am my child’s mother” (euphemism for stay at home mother), as if working mothers are not. I think I speak on behalf of working mothers everywhere when I say that not only are we our children’s mothers, we are so much more.

Being a mother is the most significant, important, and fulfilling role in my life, but it is not everything that I am.  Life is not about a lifestyle or role; it’s about our potential as human beings. An old TV ad for the U.S. Marines comes to mind: “Be all that you can be.”  Who would want anything less? Do we want any less of our children? When I was a young girl I was fascinated by the work of Dr. Martin Luther King , Jr.  A quotation that I had read, not one of Dr. King’s most famous, really resonated with me: “I just want to leave a committed life behind.”  I remember thinking, that’s what it’s all about: leading a committed life.  Upon reading Dr. King’s words I vowed that no matter what my career or life path, I would set out to live  a “committed” life.  As I grew older and thought about what that quotation meant for me and my life, I came to understand Dr. King’s ‘committed life’ as an obligation to live up to one’s potential, rather than a commitment to any one religion, social cause, or lifestyle.

I am fortunate to enjoy the camaraderie of other working Moms at work.  We share parenting stories about stretch marks and lack of sleep, how to get our children to take medicine, glorious days at the park, allergic rashes, birthday parties, and bunk beds.  More importantly, we share our pride at being able to “do it all.”  While other mothers are picking up dry cleaning, doing dishes, preparing meals, and mending jeans, we take great pride in the fact that we are able to do all that AND have a career.  We earn our own money and contribute to our families.  We confront and overcome challenges and come to value our self-worth not as women or mothers, but as human beings. There are millions of working mothers who “do it all” every day, many without the help of nannies, spouses, or extended family.  We marvel at the women at the park with their impeccable manicures and shaved legs. We may even feel envious at times.  And while we are often tired and stressed (and a bit unkempt), we wouldn’t have it any other way.  Our secret?  We love knowing that we are living full lives, committing ourselves to both career and family, and doing so with grace and spunk and -  of no small importance - a good deal of humor.   

It was a workday morning pow-wow in a colleague’s office that sparked the idea of GPC, Gross Personal Contribution.  Not to be confused with GDP, GPC is the measure of one’s personal contribution to society.  Each person’s GPC will be different, depending on one’s level of commitment, values, energy level, etc.  What if, my friend proposed, our taxes were tied to our GPC?  Boldly, she wondered aloud, what if our taxes were proportional to our contribution to society; that is, if you consume more than you produce, your taxes would be higher?  We laughed, and then there was a serious silence.  What if? This being a nation of free enterprise and capitalism where money speaks louder than words, would such a policy really motivate people?  Do more, pay less.  Some people are motivated by finances and lifestyle, others by the religious notion of an obligation to live up to our God-given potential.  For others, it’s very simple: we just couldn’t imagine settling for doing less than we are able.  I can, therefore, I do.

So the next time you arrive home at 6 pm, serve cereal for dinner, and find yourself doing laundry at 10 pm instead of taking a bath, know that you are in good company.  Think about your GPC, not because it may lower your taxes, but just because.  You are leading a committed life, a full life.  Now ask yourself: would you have it any other way?