Last Friday I retired.  

Okay, I didn't really "retire" because I'm still relatively young, still working, still raising kids and still have a mortgage to pay.  But I did close a significant chapter in my life when I retired last week from the Air Force after spending 20 years on active duty and in the Reserve. 

When I woke up Saturday morning, the first thought that entered my mind wasn't one of relief, but rather a simple, "It's gone."  And I put my face in my pillow afraid I might cry, because in truth, it feels in many ways like the loss of a great love.  

A military career was never a dream or a plan of mine.  Rather, I joined the Air Force during a recession, eager for adventure and a paycheck larger than the meager pittance I was earning working in radio news.  I was prepared to do the hard work, but what surprised me was how much I loved it--the core values, the high standards, the teamwork, the camaraderie, the people, the purpose.  "Integrity first.  Service before self.  Excellence in all we do."   Words to live by. 

I left active duty after my children were born 12 months apart, realizing I needed more flexibility as a working mother.  I transitioned into the Reserve and spent the rest of my career as a Reserve officer embedded with the active duty.  I started my own business so that I could control my schedule and balance my civilian work with my Air Force career.  

As my children grew, I gave increasing amounts of time (read: months of travel each year) to the Air Force.  It was a sacrifice for my family, but I was having a ball, with my career highlight occuring last year when I deployed as deputy spokesperson for U.S. forces in Haiti after the earthquake. It was incredibly rewarding work.

But as my children prepare to enter high school, I knew intuitively I needed to be present more.  My husband, ever supportive, said he'd be on board, whatever I chose.  After much reflection, I applied for retirement.

Staring into my pillow last Saturday morning, newly retired, my lip may have trembled, but I did not cry. 

Instead, I sat up and took a deep breath.  I realized that while I am leaving something special behind,  I have a lot to look forward to.  I am embarking on a brand new chapter, and truth be told, there's a lot be excited about.  As a mom, adapting to the evolving needs of my kids comes with the territory.  As an Airman, taking on new challenges and making things happen is what I've been trained to do.  We have a saying in the Air Force, "Flexibility is the key to Airpower."  Well, it's also the key to a lot of other things in life.

 People make significant life transitions all the time--some by choice and some due to circumstances that find us--good and bad.  The key to successfully navigating these transitions is embracing the change.  It doesn't necessarily make it easy, but a positive mental attitude is key.  When I look back over my career--indeed my life--it was the challenges and the big transitions that have defined me and made me better, stronger.  If I'm honest with myself, I seek opportunities for growth and I love a good challenge.  I am not a static person by nature.

Sitting on the edge of the bed last Saturday, I noticed my combat boots sitting in the corner of the room.  They were slightly worn, but still sturdy with a lot of life left in them--kind of like me.  I placed them in the closet and walked toward the kitchen to make coffee and start my day.  My kids were still asleep.  It was a new day and I was right where I was supposed to be.