Social networking has made it extremely easy to connect…or disconnect…with the people who move through our lives. I recently caught up with an old high school friend on Facebook and realized after a short time that she and I didn’t have much in common anymore. We pursued different life paths and had different philosophies in life. She became a stay-at-home Mom and I pursued a career and became a parent later in life. We both are very happy with our life choices but it sometimes caused a strange dynamic between us – like we feared upsetting the other when our ideas weren’t in sync. I realized that over the years and choices, we had actually become much different people and didn’t have a whole lot in common anymore. And that was okay. We only interacted online so we simply “unfriended” and moved on.

But "friending" in real life isn’t as easy and I’m learning that teaching my seven-year old son about relationships is challenging. When someone is upsetting him or treating him badly, he can’t simply click a button and make them disappear. Our kids are growing up in a different world and a gap is growing between face-to-face communication and online socializing. Will our kids grow up to be disconnected and emotionally unable to cope? In life, sometimes you get your feelings hurt and others won’t agree with you. You don’t always get to be first or right. But you have to stick it out and work towards a compromise.

How do we prepare kids for this when they see their parents do most of their interacting through a smart phone, "friending" and "un-friending" people without hesitation? I think as a society, we tend to shelter kids from negative feelings. If my husband and I argue, I try to move the discussion to another room for fear of upsetting my son. But isn’t that what life is really about? Having differences and either resolving them or realizing that sometimes they just can’t be resolved? There is benefit in understanding the complexities of conflict resolution. This is a learned skill that can only be acquired by interacting one-on-one with people.

Last week, I had a moment of hope. During a car ride home from after-school care, I asked my son how his day went.

“Pretty good,” he responded. “Well, recess wasn’t that great.”

“What happened?” I asked.

“Evan kicked me out of the race club.”

“Why’d he do that?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. He’s the club leader and just put me out of the club.” I was suddenly very mad at Evan.

“Well, what did you?”

“I told him it was okay and started my own club. Some kids joined. Some kids didn’t.“

“Do you feel bad about being kicked out?”

“No,” he said. “I still race with Evan but now I get to be a race club leader too.”

My son is in first grade and he has years ahead of him to master the skills of getting along with others.  I wonder how to guide him and set a good example when I, as an adult, am changing right along with the rest of our society and sometimes practice being a friend from a distance, or an “online friend” who sometimes never even sees that my old friend now has tiny laugh lines or still wears her hair like she did so many years ago. It’s like we reconnect but really don’t.

Technology is great. Social networking has opened up a whole new way of being in touch but it is important to teach our kids to connect face-to-face, as well. There's something about the emotions behind a genuine smile that can't be conveyed through an emoticon.

As working moms, how are you handle this challenge with your children? I welcome your comments below!