Every so often we bark an order at a kid and moments later, regret it. Why do we regret it? Because it was said with no forethought of what a pain it would be to follow through.  The alternative to following through is unbearable – parents transforming into white noise machines repeatedly saying annoying things like:

“I’m giving you ONE more chance”, or:

“OK, now I’ll give you to the count of three”, or even better:

“Well, OK, I’ll let you get away with it this time but this is your last chance”.

I’m not the threatening type (or, I try not to be). Rather than saying “You need to come to the table or else…..(insert irrational consequence here)”, I simply say “You need to come to the table” and then respond to child’s action, or lack of action.

Two occasions come to mind where I ended up putting myself in fairly awkward positions because of a demand or request I put on a kiddo. Interestingly, both occasions have been with the same child.

1)      I ordered child out of swimming pool. Child responded by swimming to middle of pool, flashing a cheeky smile and explaining how exiting the pool was never going to happen.  I entered pool, fully clothed, and dragged said child out of pool. She remained out of pool – for several days – while all the other children enjoyed their summer swims. A friend was over with her kids on the day of the incident and experienced complete shock that I went in the pool fully clothed to get the kid. We brainstormed alternatives and came up empty. The lesson I learned –  it might be worth having a bathing suit on under my clothes at all times in the summer.

2)      Same delightful child was acting like a brat during a soccer game when she was about 6 years old. I kept waiting for the coach to intervene and tell her to smarten up, share the ball, etc. Watching her act out and get away with it sent me into a near rage. Before long, I got the shakes and couldn’t take it any longer. I got up out of my lawn chair, stormed across the soccer field, causing the game to stop, threw my little delinquent over my shoulder, told the coach to get a sub, and hauled my kid off the field. As I walked back to my lawn chair, I could see parents’ mouths hanging open in shock. My daughter was horrified, and the coach didn’t know what to make of me.  Interestingly, I didn’t feel a bit embarrassed about hauling her off the field. It was far more agitating watching her get away with her behaviour.

My experience has been that following through can be extremely painful. The only thing I find more painful, though, is not following through.