Sixth grade ain’t what it used to be. These days it’s not unusual to see 12 year old girls wearing short shorts and sexy tops with designer shoes and blow outs, not to mention the ever-present cell phone appendage. These girls look mature beyond their years, talk beyond their years, and are exposed to adult conversations and content that we were never exposed to back in the day. We rode our bikes around the neighborhood until dark, gave formal burials to dead birds and insects, gossiped, played hide and seek, and - heaven forbid! – got dirty. Is it me, or have girls, started to ‘develop’ at a younger age too? Is it something in the water, the growth hormones in meat and milk? Marketing professionals in a number of industries, including clothing, have successfully skewed the marketplace and consumer demand over the past two decades and we no longer bat an eye at bras for 6 year olds and sexy dolls for them to play with. My 5 year old daughter came home from a friend’s birthday party with a “party CD” that included Katy Perry’s California Girls, among other songs. Have you heard the lyrics of some of the songs that kids are singing on the playground? When did all this happen? Please understand, I’m no arbiter of what is and is not age appropriate. My 5 year old is allowed to have nail polish and play with makeup. My 12 year old has a cell phone and uses social media. I have made a conscious decision about what is, and what is not, appropriate for my girls and I know the line when it’s crossed. It’s just that with all the trappings of maturity, it’s so easy for even us, the parents, to forget that our pre-teen children are still just that – children. I’ve recently reconnected with some old classmates from 6th grade. Long buried memories have come flooding back and then I stop and realize just how young we were! Class photos shared on Facebook reveal soft, young, innocent faces. My biggest desire in 6th grade was not a cell phone or Tiffany bracelet, but a pair of name brand sneakers, Adidas ROMS, to be exact. (I never did get them.) Now we’re arguing over which TV shows are acceptable, how much time is spent talking and texting, and when she will be old enough for $189 designer jeans and a Ferrari. So it was with immense joy that I watched as my 12 year old and 5 year old climbed over rocks and into a pond to catch tadpoles last week. My 12 year old squealed with delight as she caught the first one. There it was: childhood. She may look like a young woman, shop in the women’s department, be more tech savvy, socially aware and use more skincare products than I, but she is still a little girl, my little girl. So I take a step back. I have spent most of the last year or two trying to figure out how to navigate these complicated pre-teen and teenage years without sacrificing her self-esteem, our relationship, and my sanity. Maybe I’ve been trying too hard to figure this out. Roots and wings, I remember; a solid foundation and space to grow. We ended the week barely talking to each other. I had heard one too many snarky comments and took her Justin Bieber CDs out of my car. And then, after a day or two of giving each other space, we drew close again, bonding over a TV show that she probably shouldn’t watch. And as she scooted closer to me on the couch I realized that as hard as this time is for me, it must be more difficult for her. Young girls and boys find their bodies changing, the fast paced, sophisticated world more accessible than ever before, and yet their hearts and minds are still in childhood. I know this to be true because last night around 3 am, I heard the distinct cry of my 12 year old, awoken from a bad dream: “Mommy!” And I will treasure it for as long as I can until the day I become “Mom” and I know we’ve entered a new phase in our loving, but not without challenges, relationship.