When I was in high school, I was a fireball of poetry, black & white photography and song lyrics.  I had notebooks full of arousing verses, binders full of inspired negatives, and sketchbooks full of tattoo designs created by me and other close friends.  I’d stay inside of the obscurity of my darkroom in my parents’ garage for hours…. doing nothing but ‘creating’.  When I wasn’t in the darkroom, I was writing in one of my many notebooks that I carried everywhere with me.

Of course now, over ten years later, I consider my children to be my ‘greatest creation’-- two beautiful, smart, loving little girls who mean more to me than life itself.  Two little girls who I would do anything and everything for… and I have.

I no longer sit for hours at a time in a darkroom nor do I have the time to sketch ‘tattoos’ on my body… in hopes of having the time/funds to be able to make the sketch a realty once payday comes around.  I have other priorities.

Instead… I sit…. in the efficiency of my office, multi-tasking. I proof the press release draft on my desk, work on website edits on the screen in front of me, while waiting on hold with my daughter’s pediatrician, while my receptionist places a call on hold for me.  Remembering that I left my wet laundry in the washing machine, I quickly text my husband and ask him to toss it in the dryer, since it is my turn to drive my daughter to her dance class tonight.  

Last year, I decided that I NEEDED to get that ‘creative’ feeling back.  I felt inspired to do something ‘outside of the box’.   At first, I wanted to do something outside of my ‘mommy/wifey’ world.  So, there I sat, in the darkness of my living room (while my kids & husband were fast asleep) thinking… trying desperately to awaken the creative genius within.  And then… IT happened. A light bulb went on… and I sighed the hugest sigh of relief. ‘THANK GOD,’ I thought, ‘there is still a light in the attic’.

But to my surprise, the emotion this time around was stronger, deeper, and even more intense than when in high school.  I was no longer full of teenage angst. No more dark feelings in the oblivion.  Instead, I was surrounded by the blessings of God’s grace and a beautiful life. 

Why had I not let all of THIS inspire me during the past 10 years?!  Instead of letting the fireball smolder, I should have allowed the fabulous fortune in my life to put MORE flame to my fire within! Being a wife and mother had NOT snuffed the flame out… I had just been ignoring it.  So, instead of thinking outside of the box, I decided to open it and look inside.

I sat down at my desk, in the still, dimness of that great evening…. sketching.  Hearts, stars, sunshines. I just let my hand go to town. The result is a tattoo design—one that I made a permanent fixture on my body the following week:  A heart with wings--  three layers to the wings… one for my husband and one for each of my girls.  The heart is that of my own… the reasoning behind the wings? Simple.  THEY make my heart soar!!! They are the love that makes my life complete.  They uplift me even on the busiest, chore filled, most challenging days. 

Now, it’s time to break those notebooks back out!  My youngest is just learning how to write complete sentences… maybe it’s time for me to help teach her about her own gift of creativity… and to buy a notebook for her, as well.