My husband and I planned to try for our first. We came off the pill in March 2009. I desperately wanted to have a baby. It felt like a good time. But somehow, when I peed on the stick and two lines came up–I was in complete shock. And then the tears came. I had never been more scared in my life.

The whole pregnancy thing freaked me out. I spent my entire pregnancy feeling like there was some type of alien being trapped inside of my body–and then the movements came. While some claim this is a beautiful experience–I found it gross. My belly looked like the alien being was trying to escape. To say it freaked me out is an understatement.

I referred to my stomach as “it” until we knew that “it” was a “he”. I didn’t have a real attachment to the belly–and the bigger it got–the more freaked out I became. Jordison was due 01/05/2010. He decided he didn’t want to wait – and was born 12/22/2009.

My labor was 33 hours with Pitocin and epidurals that wore off. In the end–this little man was laid on my chest. I looked at him–he looked at me. He was dirty–slimy –and looked just like his daddy. Those little eyes looked into mine–and then reality smacked me in the face. It didn’t matter how scared I was to be in charge of a new life – we would get through it together.

I went from planning concert trips and babysitters to never wanting to leave his side.

Being a first time mother to a five month old baby boy has been the most rewarding experience of my life and has done things to me that I never knew were possible.