As I continue to struggle with debt and finances we have accumulated over the past few years, along with a dwindling income, I have decided that someone needs a second job.  And somehow I crazily decided it should be me.  So I am launching (again) my own Arbonne business.  I am really going to work at it this time, and my new partner is great, so I have a good feeling about it.  I feel like I can finally have something that is totally my own.

But it just leads me to wonder, ahhhh.....why me?  Why am I the one who needs to put this added pressure on myself in order to feel more secure in our lives?  Where is that other person, the partner that I married 10 (long, long) years ago?  Where is the 50/50 relationship that all modern women like myself strive for?  I realize that I am a Type A personality - only child, over achiever, straight A student, yada, yada, yada.  I continually push myself, but why doesnt my partner?  And why doesnt he want to? 

I wanted to be in a relationship where both the man and woman contributed equally - work and home life.  But somehow I have drawn the short end of the stick.  Don't get me wrong - I love to work and have strived for a career, and not a job, my whole life.  But I was hoping my partner would be along side me on this ride, not in the back of the car in the booster seat.  I am wondering if this issue has become a struggle for a lot of working moms who are finding themselves the head of the household, and not feeling enough support from their partner.

Well all I can do is hope that my hub decides to look at me as a role model, and strive to achieve as much as he can too.  Now , if only I could get is attention away from the playstation.....