Last year your preschooler couldn’t get to class fast enough. But now he moans about going, complains of tummy aches and drags his feet out the door. After you repeatedly ask what’s wrong, he says, “Kids are mean.” Sadly, bullies come in all sizes—even pint-size. “In preschool or child care, bullying usually happens in social situations, where a child may be rejected by a peer and even fearful of physical harm,” says Richard C. Horowitz, PhD, author of Peaceful Parenting: Parent Empowerment and Child Empowerment. “Preschool teachers are reporting increased aggressive behaviors,” he adds, noting that one catalyst may be more violence in young children’s media. If your child’s excitement about preschool turns sour, you need to ask pointed questions: “You really don’t look happy about going to school today. How come?” If you learn that a schoolmate is telling other kids they can’t play a game or is abusing them verbally or physically, absolutely speak to the adults in charge. They should have measures in place for dealing with this. In addition, says Dr. Horowitz, “the teacher or administrator should discuss a bullying child with her parents and give fair warning of consequences.” Preschool is a place where kids should be carefree and learn to play nice. It shouldn’t be a breeding ground for bullies.

Battling Bullying

To help your child cope with mean behavior, says Dr. Richard C. Horowitz:

• Act it out. Role-play difficult social scenarios with your child (“You be Billy, I’ll be you”) to find solutions. 
• Rehearse responses. Suggest things he can say, like “That hurts when you push me. It’s not the right thing to do.”      
• Have him get help. Reinforce that he should report to the adults in charge any words or behaviors that are hurtful to him or another child.