If you've ever felt like Silly Putty that's pulled in too many directions, imagine this: You can calm the madness with these tactics from moms who know your pain. It all starts with remembering to breathe.

By the time I start work in the morning, I've already been working for hours-fixing breakfasts and packing lunches, searching for lost library books and troubleshooting outbreaks of wardrobe drama. So is it any wonder that hours later, as I'm doing my nightly nag about homework, stressing about an overdue deadline and staggering around the kitchen making dinner, I find myself wondering if the witness protection program takes frustrated, borderline hysterical moms? As I tip into feeling overwhelmed, I remind myself to do something-something I already do unconsciously thousands of times every day. Just breathe. Try it right now, my fellow overworked, under-rested comrade: Drop what you're doing. (Yes, step away from your BlackBerry.) Clear your mind and focus on just being in this moment. Now inhale deeply. Hold it for a beat, then let it out fully. Repeat.

This probably took about a minute. But guess what? You've harnessed your energy, recharged your brain and maybe even stopped yourself from losing it when your daughter started practicing her karate kicks on the cat. That's the power of claiming just a moment for yourself. It doesn't have to take a lot of time, because if you're like me, you don't have a lot of time. It isn't about putting more stuff on your already groaning to-do list. It's just about putting one thing on the list—you. And it pays massive dividends in terms of sheer productivity: Scrambling around for the keys you can't find or apologizing to the kids (again) for losing your temper just isn't nearly as efficient or morale-boosting as a chilled-out mom is. Don't take my word for it–consider some hard-won wisdom from other working mothers, who've learned how to take the skills that make them rock stars at their jobs and apply them to being controlled, caring and confident on the home front.

Nothing More Than Feelings

Managing our own and everybody else's practical demands is in the working mom's job description. The trick to keeping us from walking around like the undead is to make sure our emotional reserves don't run on empty. Kate Wilson, a dialect coach who's trained a bevy of television and Broadway stars, says that to remain grounded with her own two kids when everyone is mid-meltdown is just a simple matter of changing her vocal pitch. "When they're getting anxious and their voices start going way up, I lower my own voice," she says, consciously avoiding that natural instinct to go all Jersey Shore and match them squeak for squeak. "I just go down in tone, and it brings everybody right back into balance."  

When Kristin Keefe, a family counselor and mother of two young daughters, starts to feel as overwhelmed as her clients, she puts her practice into practice. "I don't block my own feelings," she says. "I take a moment to acknowledge when I'm depressed or stressed. I say, 'Yeah, I'm flipping out.' And as soon as I accept and quit fighting my emotions, I start to feel centered." Keefe also remembers that it's important to reach out, even if it means occasionally squeezing another appointment into an already crammed day. "I was dropping Natalie at school recently," she says, "and I grabbed two moms and said, 'Can I go get a cup of coffee with you?' On the days I'm really struggling, I need to hear the things other mothers are going through so we can work them out together."

But other times, a bit of solitude is just what's in order. Stacy Linden, a New York City yoga instructor and single mom to son Eli, finds that when she's feeling frustrated, the best solution is "to send my son to another spot in the house, like the living room, so I can find my own space. I'll go into the kitchen, relish the silence and remember that I want this to be a good day, that I love him and that this is not a big deal." It's in those self-imposed time-outs that Linden is able to regroup. "My favorite word in yoga is santosha," she says. "It means contentment-wanting nothing more. If you find even a moment in the day where you want nothing more, whether it's watching your kids belly laugh at their favorite bedtime book or getting an unexpected 'Mommy, I love you,' that's santosha. It's important to take that in. Because the happier you are as a person, the better you're going to be as a mom."

Giving yourself those time-outs, however, means being willing to occasionally give something else up: control. It starts by letting go of Superwoman and remembering First Lady Michelle Obama's advice to "put myself a really close second behind my kids on my list of priorities." The way she sees it: "If I'm healthy and happy, I'm going to be a better support to my spouse and my children."

Your friends, your spouse and, yes, those precious darlings who'd gladly let you wait on them hand and foot forever-all can be recruited into family service. "My older son, who's eleven, is really into cooking and recipes," says nutritionist Janine Whiteson, author of Get a Real Food Life and mother of two. "On Tuesday evenings we cook something quick and easy together." That Tuesday tradition doesn't just make the dinner rush more streamlined for Whiteson. "It gives my son a sense of pride when he sits down and knows he helped prepare dinner," she explains. "I want to give my children the tools for a healthy, independent life."    

Has Anybody Seen My Brain?

When I was pregnant with my first daughter, my doctor-a working mother of three herself-told me, "Your mind will never be the same." I thought she was kidding. The joke was soon on me and the clump of frequently useless gray matter between my ears. Who's got a birthday party this weekend? When did I say I'd file that report? Can everybody stop talking for one damn minute while I just...think?

Anne Flounders, the mother of a lively 3-year-old son and an editor at a Connecticut children's magazine, copes with the deluge by applying her editorial skills to organizing her home life. "I rely on Google Docs so much," she says. "I have all my recipes there so I can check during the day and plan what I'm going to cook at night. I also have all the information on what I'm supposed to remember about what's going on in child care, like the things I've got to send in for the class. And I even keep an ongoing document of all the special things I want my son to know he's said or done and when they happened." A couple of clicks; no thinking required.

Suzanne Torrison, a handbag designer who named her Emma Fox collection after her 6-year-old daughter, has made a career out of helping women organize their lives into the small space of a purse. She believes you shouldn't keep anything in your purse that you don't use at least once a day and advocates learning to travel light while keeping the little ones entertained. There's no need to pack the contents of a toy box. She just tosses "some Polly Pockets, a ziplock bag of crayons and a little coloring book" into her purse when she goes out with Emma so both mom and daughter are less likely to have the I'm-so-bored blowup.

Work it Out

When the pressure feels like it's coming from all sides-draft that proposal, fold the overflowing laundry, organize the book sale-it's as easy to forgo fitness as it is to decide that sleep is optional (also not a great long-term plan). But barring sickness or scheduling flukes, I exercise every day-and don't feel guilty about it. Taking care of myself physically reaps countless rewards for the whole family. Aside from the fact that I'd like my kids to have a good role model of healthy living and a mom who's fit enough to chase them around the park, I'm also staying active for myself. My daily run doesn't just help me slip into my skinny jeans, it amps up my mental health defenses. In several studies, researchers have found that regular exercise is a reliable mood booster, can fight depression and can even inhibit shrinking in the brain's frontal cortex. In other words, that bleary-eyed, sometimes reluctant three-mile morning run makes me better equipped to say "Bring it" to what the day has in store for me. It's like banking mental health reserves. Or, as Beliefnet.com blogger Therese Borchard says simply, "I'm one angry chick when I don't work out." There's another, subtler benefit to physical activity: It's time for you. Borchard says exercise time is sacred. "I swim with a masters group, and it's taboo to talk about kids or work." Stacy Linden adds, "Moms are very used to sacrificing, but it doesn't get them anywhere. Taking that yoga class, lacing up those sneakers and running, allowing yourself to do whatever brings you a sense of calm and peace, is the way to go. The greater good is being happy."

Let it Go

Two years ago, my daughters were celebrating their double birthday just as I was hitting the deadline for my first book. I thought bakery cake and a few pizzas sounded like a groovy theme for a party, but the kids begged to differ. Then they pulled out the big guns: working-mom guilt. Why didn't I ever come to their school celebrations? Why couldn't I make cupcakes like the other moms? The next thing I knew, I was baking dozens of chocolate frosted treats, lightly salted with my exhausted tears. I learned something that year; I learned that I was a chump. Then I remembered one of the best bits of advice I ever received, from a neighbor who was raising three kids while climbing the ladder at a local law firm. "Three words," she'd whispered conspiratorially. "Lower. The. Bar."

As Linda Furiya, a cooking instructor and caterer in Shelburne, VT, explains, "I just try to be realistic. Most weeks I start off with a healthy menu in place: a good homemade breakfast with lots of protein, sit-down dinners with organic vegetables. But I also always have Tater Tots and frozen chicken dinosaurs on hand for nights when my good intentions don't pan out. When that happens, I simply don't beat myself up about it."

I remember sitting on an airplane not long after the birth of my elder daughter. I was, as usual, purposefully tuning out the safety lecture when the flight attendant said something that caught my attention. It was the oft-repeated phrase "Put the oxygen mask on yourself before helping your child." You can't be there for your child if you yourself can't breathe. So take another moment. Inhale. Hold. Exhale. It's okay I long ago abandoned the dream that I'd be the mother on the playground serenely entertaining my children with sock puppets I'd lovingly crafted from recyclable materials. I am instead the woman who runs breathlessly, tardily to school pickup, who picks glitter out of her laptop and whose underpants may right this moment be inside out. But being a working mom teaches me to wrangle and even enjoy the chaos of my life. It forces me to reach out. It reminds me to embrace solitude. And it affords me daily opportunities for moments of santosha. That's good enough. In fact, as long as I remember to keep breathing, it's pretty great.