The drama at work often feels like a matter of life and death, but for Bella Belleza-Bascon, it really is. Her job as a nurse in a children’s hospital can be ultra stressful, but Bella has always wanted to “help moms become moms.”

So it was business as usual when an expectant mom recently came to Bella telling her that a dangerous mass had just been found on her unborn child’s lung. Eight and a half months pregnant, the woman was devastated. Seeing that the fetus was starting to show signs of heart failure, Bella calmed the mom but acted quickly. She worked closely with the fetal and pediatric surgeons and helped the woman through an emergency procedure that enabled the baby to breathe easier. She was by the woman’s side when her baby was born and the mass was removed. The baby boy, Garrett, left the hospital “healthy as can be” after eight weeks in the neonatal intensive care unit, says Bella proudly.

A bulletin board in her office is covered with the pictures of smiling babies, like Garrett, whom she’s helped usher into the world over her 16 years as a nurse coordinator, 5 of them for the Fetal Center at the Texas Children’s Hospital. “I’ve always sympathized with the desire some women feel to become a mom, how you fall in love with your baby before it’s even born, and how scary it can be if a complication occurs during a pregnancy,” says the mom of 4-yearold Vincent and 2-year-old Isabella.

A Personal Connection
Bella’s empathy for her patients stems in part from the challenges she herself faced. Before she had Vincent, Bella had been 12 weeks pregnant when she learned that the fetus’s heart had stopped beating. Doctors determined the cause of death was Turner syndrome, a chromosomal abnormality.

A subsequent pregnancy resulted in a miscarriage. “Having gone through these experiences, I can put myself in the place of mothers who receive news about a fetal diagnosis—I know the terrible feeling,” says Bella, who grew up in a town called Talisay on the island of Cebu in the Philippines and came to the United States when she was 22. “I know what I would want, and that guides me through my interactions with my patients.”

Bella’s personal experiences may make her better at her job, but her job, in turn, makes her a better parent: “I get a lot of practice listening and being a source of support and encouragement at the fetal center. Because of that, I’m a better listener for my kids,” she says. Bella dotes on Vincent, a budding artist, and on Isabella, whose favorite activity these days is dancing cheek to cheek with her mom. Bella looks forward to their Friday movie nights, when they pop in a Disney or Veggie Tales DVD and eat popcorn. On Saturday mornings, the kids jump in their parents’ bed to watch cartoons and make plans for the weekend.

Hands-on Parenting
Helping Bella make it through the workweek is her husband of nine years, Tony, a very involved dad, despite his challenging schedule. As a lab technician at an agri-chemical plant in Houston, he works for four days straight and has four days off. But he also rotates day and night shifts. “With his changing schedule, it’s hard for him to get decent sleep, but he still wakes up with me every morning to get the kids ready for school—even if he’s just come home from a night shift,” Bella says. On his days off, Tony takes the kids to school and picks them up so Bella can squeeze in a workout, get her nails done or go shopping. When Tony works, Bella drives the kids to school, picks them up after her shift and then cooks dinner for the family.

Critical Care
Bella is prepared to support families when babies don’t beat the odds. “Breaking tragic news to parents is never easy,” she says. “I have to be factual, calm, patient and one hundred percent supportive. I spend as much time as possible with them and let them know that I’m there for them.” Bella works with the palliative/bereavement care team at the hospital to help couples create lasting memories, such as being able to hold their baby and spend as much time together as possible in the last moments of life.

“We have professional photographs made and beautiful mementos like hand molds and footprints for them to keep,” she says. Bella offers grieving couples a hand to hold, a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on and a prayer.

“Knowing that we continue to improve fetal health and prevent future losses motivates me to get out of bed and face the day despite any heartbreak,” she says. “Losing any life is very difficult. I remind myself that there’s so much to be grateful for.”

At the top of Bella’s gratitude list is the family she comes home to at the end of each day. “My husband and the kids give me so much,” says Bella. “I’m inspired to move mountains and do more for my patients by my family’s daily dose of love and encouragement.”

Healthy Babies
Fetal anomalies often aren’t caused by anything that parents have done wrong, says Bella, but early detection is crucial for better outcomes. here are keys to what families can control:

Seek prenatal care. “It’s the single most effective way of ensuring a healthy pregnancy,” Bella says. “Women should really seek obstetrical care the instant they know they’re pregnant.”

Get ultrasounds. “So many problems have a better chance of being treated if caught earlier,” says Bella, “and sometimes a matter of days can make a huge difference in terms of a child’s prognosis.”

Be involved. If a pregnancy complication arises, take an active role. “Seek as much information from reputable sources as you can,” Bella says. “Use the information to empower you” to seek the best treatment available.

Bella’s Balancing Tips

Always have a plan B. We have a back-up diaper bag in each of our cars so if we forget the “real” one (which is bound to happen sometimes!), we know we’re covered.

Keep things in perspective. I only worry about things I can control. I can’t get bogged down with the things I can’t control—they’re just background noise.

Ask for help. You’ll be surprised how many people will offer assistance if you inquire.

Don’t be superwoman. Even if you’re not the president of the PTA or the employee of the year, your kids will be happy as long as you’re doing your best. It’s okay to say “no” sometimes so you don’t over commit yourself.
Make time for your spouse.  Tony and I schedule a date at least once a week, even if it’s just a trip to the local coffee shop. After all, it’s quality time with my family that recharges me and makes me the most caring and compassionate nurse I can be.

Find trust-worthy child care. Before our children were in school, Tony and I hired caregivers to watch over them during the day. I’m fortunate that I found great people I trust to take care of my kids—that helped ease the tremendous guilt I sometimes felt when I would leave them to go to work. Tony’s family lives nearby, so they serve as backup in emergencies. When I feel pangs of guilt at work, I remind myself that I’ve done everything I can to make sure my kids are well taken care of and that I need to focus on my patients. And that’s exactly what I do.
 

Learn more:
Fetal Center at the Texas Children’s Hospital