“Mommy, there’s a great-big-yucky-green giant in my closet!” your child wails from her room for the third night in a row. Each time you hurry in to comfort her, she’s cowering under her blanket, as far from the bogeyman as she can get. While we know they’re not real, those closet-lurking creatures are a valid concern for young children, a way they express fears about things like separating from you at bedtime. And now there’s new research on how to cope: “If your preschooler is convinced a monster is there, it’s best to play along,” suggests developmental psychologist Liat Sayfan, PhD, based on a study she led at the University of California, Davis. Even though little kids usually know what’s real and what’s imaginary, the study shows they can better manage a monster if you both pretend it’s friendly than if you deny its existence or turn on the lights to prove it’s not there. That’s because the monster might not exist, but the scary thoughts and emotions do. “It’s hard for young children to detach from the thought of the monster’s imagery and go back into reality,” Dr. Sayfan explains. So help your child overcome her fear by imagining the monster is really silly or having her tickle it with a make-believe magic sword. When her fears have subsided the next morning, you can reassure her that the perturbing creature was just pretend.

Pretend Pals

You’re just a tad jealous. You come home each evening to a child who seems to prefer his buddy Wally over you—and Wally is a figment of his imagination. You wonder if you’ve done something to cause this close relationship with something that’s, well, not there. Not to worry. Rather than indicating something’s amiss, imaginary friends are usually a sign of creativity and ability to cope, says psychologist anita Gurian, PhD, editor of the NYU Child study website AboutOurKids.org. some 65 percent of children ages 3 to 7 have them, and kids who do show active imagination. Pretend friends are a part of pretend play, in which kids explore, have fun and learn. they can help a child overcome distress, like the kind caused when a new baby comes home, or express feelings difficult to articulate, like fear. As long as your child has healthy “real” friendships, you can consider Wally your friend, too.

Creature Comfort

Dr. Liat Sayfan offers these tips to help your child deal with her fears.

Manage scary media. If your child frightens easily, avoid TV shows or films that feature ghosts, witches and monsters. They might come back to haunt her later.

Keep pretending. Since it’s tricky for preschoolers to shift gears quickly, stay in the imaginary world to help tackle fears. Suggest it’s a smile rather than a snarl on the monster’s face, and have a friendly conversation with it.

Follow up. When your child is calm later on, talk about what made her scared and how she can feel better, like reminding her you’ll always be close by at night.