Kids are supposed to be carefree, happy beings, right? So to bring about bliss, we share hugs and kisses, marvel at their talents and offer toys and\ treats—all good things. But for true happiness, we have to look beyond cheery moments and moods and help our kids develop a broader set of positive emotions, says sociologist Christine Carter, PhD, author of Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents. “Studies have shown, for example, that gratefulness or a sense of appreciation—rather than a sense of entitlement—can profoundly affect how happy we are,” explains Dr. Carter. Gratitude, along with forgiveness and appreciation, are positive emotions about the past. Future-based emotions like optimism and faith also feed happiness, as do presentbased emotions like love, kindness, empathy—even pleasure from a new bike or playing in the yard. Helping kids gain a wide range of positive emotional habits can have a big effect on their happiness, says Dr. Carter. The best way to teach these happiness-boosting skills? Live them yourself. Talk about how grateful you are for your family and your work; let your child know that you care about earthquake victims with your donation to relief efforts; express optimism about her school enjoyment and success; take pleasure in a good meal. It sounds simple, but if you practice happy habits, odds are you’ll have a happy kid.

Bliss Boosters

To pass positive feelings to your child, says Dr. Christine Carter:

Be contagious. Parents need to work on their own happiness—in their marriage, their work life, other relationships. “Then we can be better parents,” says Dr. Carter.

Have happy meals. A family-dinner routine has a huge effect on kids’ emotional well-being, especially when you smile, laugh and share the day’s good stuff as you eat.

Build a village. Happiness is tied to social connections. Help your child know her neighbors and faith-based community, and encourage peer friendships in and out of school.

Pet Benefits “Pleeeeze, can we get a dog (cat, bird, gerbil, snake)?” your kid whines. Before you cringe at the thought of another mouth to feed (even a small one), realize that having a pet can help the whole family feel better. “A pet can improve the emotional, social and physical well-being of children and parents, helping them feel more happy, less stressed,” says Sandra L. Triebenbacher, PhD, an associate professor at the East Carolina University College of Human Ecology in Greenville, NC. Kids tending to a pet can become more responsible, sociable (they learn to connect and share) and empathetic (they try to understand what an animal is feeling). And beyond their unconditional love, pets can help assuage loneliness. If you decide a pet could fit your family’s lifestyle (and budget), choose the type of animal carefully. Start your research at humanesociety.org. Then get ready for some puppy (kitty, birdie…) love.