Actress Alison Sweeney discusses her role as mom to Ben, 4, and Megan, 1, her own struggles with weight and her winning outlook.

Can balancing a demanding career and children ever really be 50-50? It’s hard to strike that 50-50 mark each day, but if I look at a whole week or month, I feel that overall I get to spend a lot of time with my children. And when I’m with them, I give them my full attention. When I go to work, I give work my full attention and commitment. Everyone has doubts occasionally, but it’s important to know you’re doing the best you can. And if you regret a decision, make a different choice next time.

What do you do when you feel pulled in different directions? That’s a tough one, but there’s no question that my kids come first. Every time there’s a call from Ben’s preschool, I worry that it’s an emergency. Even when I get normal calls from the preschool, there’s that instant that I wonder why they’re calling and if everything’s okay. There was one time that my husband and I were on our way to a charity event when the school called and said that Ben got a nasty scrape on his forehead. We turned the car around and met our son and his babysitter in the emergency room. I had that sick feeling in my stomach until I was there with him, holding his hand, making him laugh. Ben, on the other hand, was completely calm, asking questions about all the equipment, how the bed moves.

Does Ben ever have a hard time when you’re leaving for work? There was a period when he didn’t want me to leave. At first, I made the mistake of sneaking out. But his pediatrician said I should say goodbye. He reassured me that children behave that way even if you’re a stay-at-home mom going to the grocery store. He told me to allow Ben to go through the separation and to see that I always come back. Now we have a routine where we blow kisses. He grabs one kiss and eats it and saves one in his pocket for later.

When did you start acting? My mom let me do my first com­mercial when I was 4. I loved the whole process, and it came naturally to me as a kid. So growing up, I did a ton of commercials. I started on Days of Our Lives when I was 16.

What’s it been like to play Sami  on Days for so long? It’s been exciting from day one, 17 years ago. I love the part. It’s sad  and hard to see how much things have changed for soaps. But I think if you can tell good stories cheaply, you can stay on the air.

What’s your schedule like these days, taping two shows? I tape Days of Our Lives three days a week and The Biggest Loser three  to four days a week. Some days  I’m doing both. This Monday, for  example, I was at Days from 6 a.m. until noon. Then I was at The Biggest Loser from 3 p.m. to 11 p.m.

And you make time for charities? Yes, I’m involved with Feeding America as a member of their Entertainment Council. I help promote their efforts to end hunger.

In your book All the Days of My Life (So Far), you described  your own weight struggles and casting directors telling you that “you’re just too fat for the part.” How did you get fit and healthy?  From the time I was 12 I was overweight, and as a teen I definitely struggled with my weight. I tried very extreme diets, like the papaya diet. It was about me feeling insecure and lacking confidence. Overcoming that was a long process. It involved changing my  mindset from wanting to be skinny to wanting to be healthy—and that allowed me to reach my goal. And when I fell off the wagon, it sucked, but I did better the next day. And now here I am helping other people find that confidence on The Biggest Loser.

Why do you think the show has become so popular? It strikes a chord with people in the country dealing with similar issues.  I feel very close to the contestants’ struggles and journeys. The stakes are high. They’re dealing with a health crisis. The journey is  emotional. And we’re part of the solution. I enjoy helping them along the way with their trainers and America cheering them on as they open up about themselves. It’s very real. Our season finale is amazing. You’ll see some spectacular emotional and physical transformations.

Do you worry that the contestants are losing weight too fast? That’s something discussed with the doctors and with trainers Bob Harper and Jillian Michaels. Medical experts monitor the contestants closely.

How do you feel about the push to bring on heavier contestants? I can see where that concern comes from. But the contestants are endangering their own lives at home. We’re providing them with tools to get healthy, with better choices. We’re aware that it’s a slow process. Our trainers are experts. They’re very careful. We do see contestants getting larger, and they’re handling that. We treat the contestants like athletes in terms of wrapping them, making sure they get physical therapy before and after workouts. And they do become athletes.

How do you stay in shape? I eat healthy meals—my husband is a great griller. I schedule going to the gym into my days. I do a lot of cardio, especially spin classes. I also run, hike and do circuit training and yoga. I typically work out four or five days a week. Of course, sometimes it’s three days, sometimes it’s seven days. In my new book, The Mommy Diet [available in October], I encourage moms to take care of themselves.

Your husband, Dave Sanov, is a California Highway Patrol investigator. How did you meet? Our parents worked together, so we’ve known each other since we were little kids. I totally had a crush on him when we were young. Years later, we ran into each other at a party. I was 21 when he asked me out. We got married two years later. We have similar values and personal beliefs. But we’re also opposites. I’m a little more optimistic. He’s a realist. My general attitude is: It’ll be fine; it’ll work out. It infuriates him.

How has your optimism helped you? My first job on Days of Our Lives, when I was a junior in high school, was a busy time. The worst was exam week. I found out years later that my mom was so nervous for me, but I knew it would all work out. My parents told me to take it one day at a time. That week I was also doing the show, then coming home and studying for exams and learning lines. I didn’t jump ahead of myself. I just said, This is what I need to do today.

What has been the best surprise of becoming a mom? You can’t comprehend until you’re a mom how much your kids take over your whole world. Every decision I make, I’m always thinking how it will affect my children. I’ve gotten to the point that if I’m in the car by myself and I see a fire engine, I’ll say, “Hey, Ben, look at that,” and start waving at the truck. Then I realize I’m driving alone. [She laughs.] And the firefighters are probably thinking something totally different from what I was intending.

What advice do you have for women who struggle with working-mom guilt? I struggle with it, too. There’s no easy answer, but if you’ve made the choice to work, accept it and allow yourself to reevaluate from time to time. It’s the choice you’re making right now—it doesn’t have to be the choice you’re making for the rest of your life. Check in periodically with your heart and conscience. You also want to see how your kids are reacting to your choices. Be honest. Parents who dwell in guilt often end up being too lenient. And remember that being home all the time isn’t all lollipops either. Kids can sense if you’re stifling some part of yourself. I teach my kids to deal with their feelings and find their voice—but the same thing applies for moms. I really believe that taking great care of yourself allows you to take better care of your kids.

What advice do you have for women who struggle because they can’t measure up to the women on TV and in the movies? It’s so hard. We all see celebrity moms get pregnant and then get their body back in six weeks after they give birth. You have to keep in mind that movie stars have a lot of experts and equipment at their disposal. If part of their job was getting back into shape, most other women could do it, too.

Did you take maternity leave? With Ben I got four weeks off. It was awesome for a first-time mom. I took advantage of every minute. With Megan I was back to The Biggest Loser eight days after I gave birth and back to Days of Our Lives after two weeks. That was really hard. Both shows offered me more time. I was in a heavy story line at Days, though, and I didn’t want to break the story. With Biggest Loser, it was only one month before the end of the season, and I didn’t want to miss out on the finale. But I couldn’t have done it without my husband and healthy kids. We all adjusted to things easily. It was a team effort.

How did you fit in your guest appearance on NBC’s Mercy? I was excited to spread my wings as an actor. But there was no time left during the week, so it had to be taped over a weekend. That meant seeing Ben off on Friday and not being back until Sunday. There were two nights I couldn’t read him his bedtime story. I think it’s way harder for me than for him.

What you do get a little downtime, what TV shows do you enjoy watching? Survivor, Amazing Race and House.