Q: During a playdate recently, a 3-year-old spilled purple grape juice on the rug in my home office. His mom offered to reimburse me  to clean the stain. Should I give her the $100 cleaning bill?

A: Your guest was gracious to suggest she reimburse you, but there’s no way you should take her up on it. I hate to be the bearer of sour grapes, but playing host to playdates sometimes has consequences. The hapless 3-year-old may have wandered into forbidden territory, open cup in hand—but if the door was ajar, or even unlocked, this isn’t really the fault of the thirsty boy’s mother. However, even if the mother  of the offending juice-toter walked  her child into your sanctuary and watched him dump the dark liquid onto your carpet and then stomp on it, it would be hard to make the case that she should reimburse you for  the damage. By inviting tots to your house to play, you are taking on the mayhem and messiness such an event inevitably entails—and you’re lucky  if a little juice on your rug is the worst of the damage.   When it comes to toddlers, a good rule of thumb on playdates is that anything breakable, smudgeable, rippable or toxic should be placed out of reach or locked away. Likewise, any rooms with sharp or fancy equipment (such as computers or treadmills) should be locked or barricaded. A $100 cleaning bill hurts,  but accepting payment would be  ungracious. Think how you’d feel  if your daughter accidentally broke  a crystal vase at a friend’s house and you were handed a hefty bill. It’s one thing if a neighbor’s teenager crashes a car into the side of your house. But when you host a playdate, you’re inviting unpredictable young ones into your home, including those who are all thumbs—or those who’ve ?only had their thumbs for three years and are still getting used to them.

Q: While at a holiday office party, someone took some very unflattering pictures of me. Next thing I know, they’re posted on my boss’s Facebook page. Can I ask my boss to take them down?

A: Your boss should understand—and respect—that you want to maintain a professional reputation and so should take the photos down. There’s a  difference, however, between a photo of you that depicts a breach of professional decorum—maybe a snapshot of you shotgunning a beer—and a photo that’s simply unflattering. If the reason you want your boss to remove the photo is “I look fat,” then your request may be construed as vanity. Your boss, who most likely has other priorities, may find it annoying to comply just because you look like you have a double chin. If that’s the case, don’t make her go through the hassle of removing a photo. If it is a matter of professional  decorum, be thoughtful in the way you ask. Make sure not to, at any point, sound accusatory. Request removing the photo purely as a favor to you: “Those pictures from the  holiday party were so funny. I know it’s a hassle, but would you mind  taking down that one of me getting a piggyback from Santa? I’m just worried a client will see it and wonder if I can be trusted with their portfolio.” End with a laugh—and not only is your boss likely to oblige, she’ll also appreciate your professionalism and concern for the image of the company. And please, at the next after-work happy hour, go easy on the eggnog.

Sally Schultheiss, a freelance writer  who specializes in life and family issues, lives in Los Angeles with her husband  and children Eddie, 6, and Jane, 4.