Bringing up two kids while working often felt like a high-wire act, but now that the new baby’s arrived, you’re feeling even more unbalanced. “Going from two kids to three is a bigger adjustment than going from one to two,” says Susan Bartell, PhD, parenting and work-life specialist and author of The Top 50 Questions Kids Ask. “It can be even harder than having your first because there are many changes you don’t anticipate.” Parents are now outnumbered, so it’s tougher to take care of everyone. A bigger family also can affect the amount of help you’re offered. “Grandparents who may have helped before could feel overwhelmed at the prospect of taking care of three children,” says Dr. Bartell. You might need to send a babysitter along on the visit, or keep one child with you and just accept a break from the other two rather than pure alone time. As for scheduling, “there’s very little chance you’ll get three kids into the same routine,” says Dr. Bartell. So relax your expectations. Then, if the kids at least nap, get fed and get to bed without a tantrum, you’ll be pleased—not perturbed. You needn’t schedule alone time with each child every week, she adds. It’s fine to hold the baby while you read to your toddler. “Just focus on being in the moment with all your kids,” she says, “without your PDA.”

Work It Out

If your boss raised an eyebrow—and kept it there—when you discussed a third child, consider this advice from Dr. Susan Bartell.

Find child care you really trust. You won’t be spending your workday checking in at home or with day care if you feel your kids are in capable hands.

Don’t overshare. Keep a photo of your kids at your desk and discuss exciting milestones, but be sure to talk more about work than family to convey your career focus.

Shore up goals. Create a running checklist or plan for yourself so you stay on track and motivated.