“Self care is not about self-indulgence. It’s about self-preservation.”Audrey Lorde
 
Growing up as the oldest of seven children (five boys and two girls), I remember breakfast at our house being extremely hectic.  My harried mom was scrambling to make lunches, my dad was running around looking for tennis shoes and invariably one of the seven of us was in the kitchen cooking peanut butter oatmeal, rice flour pineapple muffins or some other strange concoction (in our family we were heartily encouraged to become masterful at “life skills”—this philosophy encouraged lots of cooking experiments but invariably led to mayhem in the kitchen!).

One morning, my nine-year-old brother, Kert (now a macrobiotic chef), decided to whip up some pecan waffles. As I reached over to the waffle maker to help myself to breakfast, I bumped the edge of the hot grill and burned my elbow. I must have been ten years old at the time.

I didn’t mention the accident to my parents—probably because they seemed too distracted getting my six siblings out the door to school--but hours later, I was sitting in my classroom at school, trying to ignore the pain from a small, brown, bubbly-looking burn on my elbow.

Rather than go and get a teacher for help or a bandage, I simply endured the discomfort, thinking silently, it’s not really important enough to bother anyone. I’ll be fine.

This is my earliest recollection of realizing that self-care was not something that was promoted  in my family (even though my parents were medical professionals!). It was definitely something I had to learn.

Maybe when you think self-care, you have visions of pedicures and facials? Physical self-care is a big part of the overall picture. But eliminating critical thinking, not over-scheduling, releasing the need to be perfect, hiring a babysitter for dates with your partner or yourself, saying no, refusing to do things out of guilt and giving yourself much-needed rest and downtime to refuel are also integral to total self-care -- so you can live, love and parent optimally.

Read Renee's tips here

The journey to making your self-care a priority and understanding how life-altering it can be, doesn’t happen overnight. Many women who initially equate self-care with selfishness may require a shift in thinking to make this an everyday practice. Be gentle, compassionate and understanding with yourself and know that you are doing the best you can wherever you are on your journey. And, surround yourself with friends and supporters who also believe in the importance of self-care.

This excerpt is based on The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal: How to Reclaim, Rejuvenate and Re-Balance Your Life, by coach/speaker Renee Peterson Trudeau. Click here to download your copy and learn more at: www.reneetrudeau.com.