There are times when our running inner monologues are spoken out loud. A mumble or two that escapes when the boss goes on a tirade, a grumble that the trash has yet to be taken out, the “What was I doing?” when the mind goes blank. And now your preschooler seems to have the talk-to-yourself gene, constantly babbling as he builds his block tower or thumbs through Where the Wild Things Are. Should you be concerned?

This is not only normal, it can be a good thing, assures Adam Winsler, PhD, a professor of psychology at George Mason University in Fairfax, VA. “Young children may talk to themselves as they problem-solve or go about their daily activities, and parents and teachers shouldn’t think this is weird or bad,” he explains, adding that private speech at this age is very common.

What’s more, many preschool-age kids actually perform a task better when they talk themselves through it, according to a recent study led by Dr. Winsler, and this holds true for kids with and without behavior problems. So allowing a child to continue with nondisruptive self-talk at home or in the classroom can help him learn and grow cognitively.

“Private speech helps kids focus more,” he says. “It’s an internal tool through which learning takes place and is a result of similar talking experiences when interacting with others.” Eventually, typically developing kids learn to internalize their speech so that when they’re alone, they talk inside their heads rather than out loud.

Instead of trying to squelch a preschooler’s self-chatter, Dr. Winsler suggests that parents, caregivers and teachers listen in on private speech. “It’s a fantastic window into a young child’s mind,” he says. Use this opportunity to hear what your child is thinking and learn about the ways he solves problems. You can even assess if his playtime tasks are too easy or too hard. If while at play a usual self-talker doesn’t talk at all, it could mean he’s not being challenged enough. You might then offer construction toys or art materials that could provide him with a bit more stimulation.

If, on the other hand, you catch him muttering something like “I’m stupid” or “I can’t do this,” offer words of encouragement, such as “The bottom part of your building is so strong. Try again with the top part.” Or suggest how to break down a task into simple steps: “Try putting three blocks on the bottom, then two on top of those.”  Ultimately, remember that chatting to himself is a good thing. And if you just said “whew” to yourself out loud, that’s okay, too.

Talk Tactics
To help your child with language development, says Dr. Adam Winsler: Speak up. Young children whose parents and caregivers talk to them a lot with rich language and vocabulary may actually talk to themselves earlier. Then Shut up. Remember that your child’s private speech is not meant to be conversation with others, but it can help him learn and solve problems on his own. Let It happen. Try not to encourage or discourage self-talk. Your child may or may not talk to himself out loud, and either is fine. All kids talk to themselves; some just keep it inside.