Working Mother's reader survey highlights 30 Years of changes, revealing how workplace benefits have revolutionized our lives. Now if we could only stop the clock.

A friend recently told me that she’s definitely going to take a course in time management—just as soon as she can find an open spot on her iCal. And she didn’t even see the humor in what she was saying. These days, as we plug in playdates, phone conferences, pediatrician appointments and Pilates classes—trying to squeeze every second from each day—it’s no wonder we sometimes long for a less complicated era. Has time been on our side, or were we better off before we could “have it all”? As we celebrate Working Mother magazine’s thirtieth birthday, we’re prompted to think about the differences between our lives and those our mothers led, so we asked you to help us look back at three decades of changes in office policies, culture and family life.

When Working Mother first hit the newsstands in 1979, the number of working wives and working mothers spiked as women flooded the labor force and struggled to get their footing. The peace treaty between Israel and Egypt dominated headlines, “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy” and “We Are Family” filled the radio waves, and the first email smiley :-) debuted. Yet for all that has changed in three decades, our survey reveals that one thing remains remarkably consistent for women: We never seem to have enough time. The greatest support in this area comes from advances in work/life policies and programs. In fact, maternity leave and flextime have improved our lives more dramatically than any other workplace benefit—two perks our moms never dreamed of. Thirty years ago, the idea that a woman could have both a fulfilling career and a rewarding family life was the exception, not the rule. Working-mom role models were scarce. Many of us grew up knowing just one or two professional working mothers, or none at all. But these days our peers are rising through the ranks, and you told us this makes you proud. You named the prominence of female entrepreneurs and multicultural women in management roles among the best advances of the past three decades. Today, we’re boldly pursuing careers—getting advanced degrees, finding mentors and breaking glass ceilings. At the same time, we’re cheering on the sidelines at our kids’ soccer games and getting dinner on the table—even if the meal sometimes comes from a Chinese takeout carton.

Practicality over Prada

But having it all has come at a price: You named high stress as your No. 1 challenge. Perhaps that’s why throughout the survey you opted for practicality above all else. Working moms today don’t want runway fashions or flashy gadgets with the latest killer apps. We want everything to be user-friendly to help us manage our busy lives. That’s why you cited flexible work schedules as the best work/life advancement of the past 30 years. With so much to cram into each day, life has become a tightly choreographed dance. So we breathe a sigh of relief when our employer offers us some control over our day so we can attend a parent-teacher conference or catch our little star in the school play, then finish up our work by logging on from home after the kids are asleep. Work is now something we do, not something we necessarily go to. Liberated from the restrictions of a 9-to-5 day, the juggling act becomes infinitely more manageable. After all, we’re not the only ones with crowded calendars—our survey shows that our kids have tighter schedules, too.

Comfort Zone

What’s more, we don’t want to feel confined or time-crunched when it comes to fashion or beauty. Nearly 85 percent of our respondents agreed that “casual Fridays” is far and away the best office-place fashion trend of the past 30 years, soundly trouncing the Ally McBeal power suit and the Wonderbra. Forget expensive dry cleaning and hand-washable pantyhose—stylish wash-and-wear is how we roll. Favorite beauty products are about functionality, with waterproof mascara and powder/foundation combos tying for first place. We’re not striving for supermodel status in the Monday morning meeting; we just want to look polished—and feel confident our mascara won’t smudge. All this practicality aside, we still crave—and deserve—a little pampering now and then. Respondents said the most popular me-time activity their moms enjoyed was a trip to the beauty parlor; today, a stop at the spa is our indulgence of choice. But as restorative as a seaweed wrap can be, it should be noted that a spa day is an occasional outing, at best. And this pleasure trumped everyday activities like a workout or a soak in the tub, suggesting that me time is indeed a rare treat for most working moms.

Quick Yet Caring

The very definition of me time has shifted dramatically over the past three decades. You said that your mothers treasured cooking as their ultimate relaxation. These days, preparing a pot roast doesn’t hold any where near the same appeal. We don’t even need to peek at the meat, opting instead to grocery shop online. When we need a meal in a snap, even dinner kits think tacos can be too much fuss. For those occasions, we prefer to outsource completely with takeout delivered, naturally. While we may have eschewed the traditional role of hearth keeper, finding that it’s not realistic for us to toil over Sunday dinners or serve homemade cupcakes, we haven’t lost sight of our critical—and cherished—role in bringing up healthy, happy kids. We put a premium on raising compassionate children. Our survey revealed that helping our children learn to be caring is our priority. Our own parents sent a different message: Education held this top spot. While they may have believed that prepping for a test should take place before setting out for the soup kitchen, today kindness wins out over studying. You also made it clear you want your kids to understand that doing a good job is its own reward. Expensive toys or sugary snacks are out—you overwhelmingly cited stickers as the best way to acknowledge good behavior When it comes to disciplining bad behavior, most of you believe consequences should fit the crime—such as temporarily confiscating toys that aren’t picked up. Time outs are fine, but providing context about poor behavior is how we hope to create a thoughtful generation. In the quest for more kindness and understanding, moms also appear to lead by example. Most of you voted the “mommy wars” as the worst moms in the media trend of the past 3 years. And our respect goes to a female philanthropist: You named Oprah Winfrey as the woman you admire most.  On the flip side, Britney Spears was rated the worst role model. No, Britney, apparently every body doesn’t want a piece of you.

Looking Ahead

While we’ve embraced technological advances our own mothers never had, we still rely on our children to introduce us to the latest gadgets. Sure, we love our BlackBerrys, some of us are willing to text, and a few of us will even send off instant messages, but don’t even think about taking away our cell phones, which we find the best tool for managing our hectic lives. They’re the one device you said you can’t live without. For all that we’ve achieved with the help of technology and supportive employers, time is still our most formidable challenge. But most of us have made our peace with that. We know that while there are never enough hours to do everything we want in a day, there’s usually enough time to do what needs to be done. Perhaps 3 years from now, our daughters will report that reading a great book, working out at the gym, taking bubble baths—hell, maybe even cooking a gourmet meal or two—will be as natural and as important as balancing an interesting career with an active family Life. Here’s hoping.