What you already know: Along with the love, exhilaration and bliss that come with being a new mom comes, well, stress—both yours and your baby’s. In a sleep-deprived haze of round-the-clock feedings and diaper changes, you try to crack the code on why this little person cries and fusses and stresses when he does. It isn’t always a simple task.

What you need to know: An infant’s response to stress may be linked to a gene form some babies are born with, according to a recent study from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Babies with this specific gene type don’t exhibit a physical coping mechanism for stress that other babies do. So if yours often seems agitated, this could be why. But the research also shows that a mother’s sensitivity to caregiving can change the effects of this gene by the time a baby is a year old, and the baby can gain the stress-coping response. So good parenting can affect not only a child’s behavior but also the underlying mechanisms that support it.

This study suggests that genes and environment interact both to induce and relieve stress, says Joshua D. Sparrow, MD, a coauthor of the second edition of Touchpoints: Birth to Three. Babies experience stress due to separation from a parent, hunger and physical discomfort, among other causes. But a parent’s comforting— through stroking, patting and other physical soothing, speaking or cooing in a comforting rhythm and tone, and cuddling and holding—can help calm a baby regardless of how genetically vulnerable he is to stress, suggests Dr. Sparrow.

Parents should also realize that their own anxiety may affect their child. “If a pregnant woman is under stress, her hormones can affect her unborn baby,” says Jennifer Shu, MD, editor-in-chief of Baby & Child Health. If parents or siblings are upset, a baby may pick up on these feelings and cry without understanding what’s going on. Alternatively, if Mom is calm and comforting when her baby is being examined by a doctor, her baby may also be more calm, Dr. Shu says.

Still, there are no absolutes for helping a baby cope with stress. “You should find your own way based on what you learn about your baby through paying attention and interaction,” says Dr. Sparrow. “Watch for signals about what causes his distress and what helps calm him.” Will it always be perfect? Of course not, he says: “Trust your instinct. It’s a process of trial and error, and it’s okay not to always get it right.” Just a little stress relief for you, Mom.

Stress-busting
Be predictable. Have a dependable routine your baby can count on. When he senses a pattern for when he’ll eat, he understands I will get fed when I am hungry, says Dr. Jennifer Shu, and be less likely to cry to get his needs met. Chill. Try to minimize your anxiety and stress when possible. And save arguments for when your baby is asleep or not around. Loud noises and shouting can upset him. Trust nurture. Babies genetically prone to stress are not doomed to lifelong coping problems. Don’t label your baby as temperamental—there are things you can do to make it better.