Though many working moms hold the family’s purse strings, they’re afraid (make that terrified ) of long-term planning. Here’s how to face your fears about money so you can gain financial freedom. Barbara Stanny knew that her husband was a compulsive gambler, yet she sat back while he managed their family’s finances for 15 years. After all, he was a financial advisor and she could barely balance the checkbook. “I felt terrified and stupid about money,” says the mother of three daughters. “I was working. He was gambling. I pretended it wasn’t happening.” It was only when her husband fled the country that Stanny discovered he’d left owing more than $1 million in back taxes. “That’s when I had to wise up about finances,” she says. “I did it for my kids, so they wouldn’t have to live on the street.” Today, Stanny,  a leading authority on women and money and the author of Prince Charming Isn’t Coming: How Women Get Smart About Money, helps women face their financial fears. “Women often don’t get serious about money until there’s an emergency,” she says. “We wait until things get really bad before we take control.”

What many women do control is their family’s day-to-day finances, but it’s a different story when it comes to long-term planning. Just the thought of it causes many women to shut down; their eyes glaze over and their minds wander. It’s not a question of desire: More than half of all women want to learn more about retirement planning, savings and investing, according to the recent Allianz Women, Money & Power study. But many feel so overwhelmed by their short-term priorities that they put off engaging in long-term planning, the study found. Above all, women must be willing to be uncomfortable, to do what they’re afraid to do. “The top requirement for going to the next level in your financial life is the willingness to do what you think you can’t do,” Stanny says. “A big part of that is valuing yourself.” We spoke to the experts to learn the steps to take to embark on the road to financial freedom.

Educate Yourself

The biggest barrier to women’s greater involvement in managing savings and investments is lack of knowledge—four times as big as lack of time, says Sherri Du Mond, vice president of internal sales, marketing and training for Allianz Life Insurance Company of North America. Most women wish they’d learned more in school about money and finance, she adds. To catch up, experts advise doing a little something each day to learn more. “Every day you should read something about money, even if it’s just skimming the headlines in the business section of the newspaper,” says Stanny.  

Take a Long-Term View

Big-picture planning is essential for financial independence, says Cathy Curtis, a certified financial planner and owner of Curtis Financial Planning in Oakland, CA. “Having this perspective will help you make key decisions: Where do you live and work? Do you send your children to public or private schools? Do you buy new cars every seven years or opt for used cars every ten years? Do you buy that painting or contribute to a 529 plan for your child’s education?” What’s more, at some point—unless you plan to work your whole life—you’ll be living off your savings and government benefits. “You need to long-term plan to determine whether your savings and other income are enough for that day,” adds Curtis, who acknowledges that this can be daunting for busy working mothers and can lead to financial fuzziness and—the most common cause of financial failure—procrastination. Women procrastinate for many reasons, she says: They’re busy, they’re embarrassed about their lack of money knowledge, they find the subject dull and tedious, they’re fearful. “Once they get started, however, women are very capable money managers, just as they are great businesswomen and primary caretakers for the family,” Curtis says. “It’s just taking that first step.”  

Save More (Spend Less)

A first step toward planning for the future and saving for retirement is to put some money in a retirement plan if your employer offers one. If your employer doesn’t have a plan, you can likely contribute to an IRA. Even putting a small amount aside is better than nothing at all. Phyllis N. Silverman remembers her grandmother showing her a shoebox where she stashed a few dollars each week that she skimmed off the grocery money her husband gave her. “It was for emergencies, she said, because a woman should never be without some source of cash for a rainy day.” Yet

How to Choose a Financial Advisor

More than 70 percent of women don’t have a financial advisor, according to a survey by Allianz, though many could benefit from one. Here’s how you can find the right one for you.

Tap friends for a referral

Find your financial advisor the same way you find your pediatrician, gynecologist, babysitter and hairstylist, says Barbara Stanny, author of Prince Charming Isn’t Coming: How Women Get Smart About Money. “ask people you trust, like your close friends, and then interview at least three candidates,” she advises.

Pick someone you trust

You want to follow your gut when making a final selection, says Phyllis N. silverman, director of the PNC Wealth Management women’s financial services network. “See whom you feel the most comfortable with,” she says. Avoid advisors if you don’t understand what they’re saying, they talk down to you, they won’t give references, they won’t tell you if punitive action has been taken against them, they don’t answer your questions or they’re unclear about their fees, experts say.

Remain in charge  

It’s difficult to do a good job managing your money while harboring rescue fantasies, says Stanny. “No one should take care of your money for you. Still, you don’t have to do it alone. Almost every woman I know who is financially savvy has worked at some point with a financial professional.”

Check in regularly 

Carve out time every month to assess your financial situation, says Silverman: “Call your investment advisor to check in. learn the rules that govern your retirement plans. Know what you own. Some months this may take an hour, and other months it may take longer.” Make a decision to pay attention on a regular basis.