Despite a tragic loss as a child, Molly Shannon went on to find success and fame on Saturday Night Live. Today she juggles her favorite roles—devoted mom and sitcom star—with her trademark sense of humor.

I was destined to be a mom. In elementary school, all the kids loved to play house during recess—and I was always picked to be the mom. In fact, my classmates would fight over who got to be my children. When I was a teen, all of our neighbors trusted me to babysit their kids.

Having children of my own someday was so important to me. I lost my own mom at such a young age. When I was just 4 years old, I was in a car accident that killed my mother and younger sister, Katie. The accident changed our family in an instant. My dad survived, and he raised me and my older sister, Mary.

While I knew I wanted children, I also knew I wanted to perform. After college, my desire to be a mom took a backseat to my career. I was a struggling actress and comedian for eight years before I landed my big break in 1995 as a regular on Saturday Night Live, where my most popular character was Mary Katherine Gallagher, the Catholic schoolgirl.

My desire to have a family came back full force when my 3-year-old niece came to stay with me in New York City. We were together in my little studio apartment for four days, and I had the time of my life. I would take her out to dinner and dress her up in princess outfits. It was such a joyful time. That really sealed the deal for me. I knew I had to have kids—soon!

When I met my husband, artist Fritz Chesnut, soon after, I didn’t want to waste any time. In fact, we had our daughter, Stella, before the wedding. Our son, Nolan, came in 2005, about a year after we got married. The minute I became a mom, my priorities instantly shifted—now family, not career, comes first. That doesn’t mean work isn’t important to me I like to work. But I don’t want to be away from my family, so I make sure I can bring them to work with me. Because my kids are young— Stella is 5 and Nolan is 3—it’s easy to take them along on location. My husband has a flexible work schedule, so he comes along, too. It doesn’t matter where we are, as long as we’re together. I know that as my kids get older, it will be more difficult to travel with them because I won’t be able to pull them out of school.

My sitcom, Kath & Kim has been such a great opportunity; it’s steady work, and it’s in one place. Right now, we’re in Los Angeles to do the show, but our home is still in New York. I took a leap of faith because you don’t know if a TV show will work or not. If not, that’s fine—we’ll just head east.

I’m happy that my kids see their mom work and love her job, and I know that I’m a better mother because I have a career Stella and Nolan come to the set, and my trailer is their playroom. Not that they necessarily understand what I do: I recently asked my son, and  he said, “You put on nails, and you color.” He sees me on the set of Kath & Kim and my character wears these colorful press on nails Then I’m in a trailer coloring with him. When we’re home together, I encourage silliness—I actually like it when my kids act wild We make up a lot of games They pretend they’re puppies, and I bring them to the pet store I pretend I ordered a doll, and I put the kids in a box, and I’m like, “Oh my God, look at this baby doll. She talks ” They also love just running around the house, making up little activities or drawing pictures. Of course, now that we’re in Los Angeles and the weather is nice, I take them outside as much as I can, but it can be hard because my son and I suffer from terrible allergies My dad also had allergies; this is something that’s often hereditary and can affect entire families That’s why I got involved with Zyrtec and the Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America’s campaign “Allergies Are No Laughing Matter. ”

We want to educate families on how to handle their allergies and about the different treatments that are available over the counter I want other moms to know there are medications that can help them and their kids get relief. I’m allergic to some animals, but with my job, there are times I have to work with them I was in the movie Year of the Dog and didn’t tell the producers I’m allergic to dogs because I didn’t want to lose the job. The day before we started filming, I did a photo shoot with one of the dogs He licked my face, and I broke out in hives. No one could believe I never told them I was allergic. But I took Zyrtec and was fine for the rest of the movie.

Supporting and helping other moms is important to me. We’re so hard on ourselves. We need to remember it’s not magic—for any of us Hey, we all get stressed. A while ago, I was flying into LAX with my kids. At the baggage claim, I was trying to balance the stroller with both of them in it and carry the bags, and there was just a lot going on. The stroller tipped over, and the kids screamed because they were scared. No one was hurt. This kind of thing happens to all moms, but talk about pressure. I’ve accepted that I’m not perfect. I have lists of things I need to get done each week, and a lot of stuff might not get done. You know what? That’s okay. My family is healthy and happy.

After going through a life altering loss as a child, I understand that family is what matters most. Sometimes I say to myself, “I wonder what my mom would think about this.” Having children has been very healing I feel so fulfilled right now—I’m a happy mom.

Guest columnist: Molly Shannon, 44, starred in Saturday Night Live for six years and went on to appear in films like Serendipity and Shallow Hal. she currently stars in the sitcom Kath & Kim and lives in los angeles and new york with her husband, Fritz Chesnut, and her children, Stella, 5, and Nolan, 3