You’re cooking dinner on a Tuesday—difficult enough, given your killer schedule. But then your preschooler starts in with the questions: “Is that a chicken?” “Is it dead?” “How did it die?” “Are we going to eat it?” “Why do we eat dead things?” Do you really have to answer this stuff? Couldn’t you just offer an I-don’t-know shrug and leave it at that. This is one of those times to show genuine interest and encourage your child’s inquisitiveness, says psychologist Todd Kashdan, PhD, the author of Curious? Discovering the Missing Ingredient to a Fulfilling Life (toddkashdan.com). “There are benefits of lifelong curiosity that many parents may not realize, like enhancing intelligence and building independence,” he says. “And parents really matter when it comes to cultivating or squelching curiosity in their child.” Encouraging a child’s independence in exploring new things is fairly effortless, since kids are naturally wired that way. When your child expresses interest in something different or novel—a Star Wars character, the big-kid monkey bars, even dead chickens—acknowledge it and be open to his queries. If the subject is safe and age-appropriate, let him explore it, says Dr. Kashdan: “When you support explorations, kids see that their interests are a positive thing, which leads to further exploration and curiosity.” You’ve seen this in your child lots of times. Remember when he insisted on going down the slide on his own? Sure, it was new and he was nervous, but sliding alone was exhilarating. “Kids are on a seesaw when faced with new and unfamiliar situations—being both anxious and intrigued,” says Dr. Kashdan.

What you don’t want to do is dissuade your child from doing things that are different or unusual. Being interested in the unfamiliar—even if such things bring on less-than-comfortable feelings and emotions—is an important way kids learn and grow, eventually becoming adults who continue to learn and seek new challenges. It may help for you to get past what makes you fearful and uneasy. A lot of what your child learns comes from watching you. When you let go of your own fears, you offer your child an environment that supports independence and creative freedom.

So when your inquisitive kid asks a lot of questions, remember the perks of curiosity and keep the conversation open. Examining new things, even finding new twists on ordinary things, keeps us in the flow of finding and creating a meaningful life, says Dr. Kashdan. This can enhance many aspects of life, including relationships, mental health and, ultimately, happiness. Amazing what dead-chicken talks can do.

A Little Encouragement

CHALLENGE HIM. Offer your child something that is just manageable or just outside his skill set, like a building set or puzzle. Slightly pushing his limits will encourage exploration.

LOOSEN THE RULES. A child who always does what you say may not be inclined to push the exploration envelope. So give him a little leeway for growth.