It was a seven-year roller coaster of hope and disappointment for Eleanore Magarelli. She saw many friends and relatives start their own families while she underwent surgeries, an ectopic pregnancy and nine rounds of IVF. “She was truly happy for each and every one of us,” says Elle’s best friend, Denise Corpion. But the drugs, injections and missed opportunities took their toll on Elle, an administrative assistant at the McGraw-Hill Companies, and her husband, Mark, a self-employed residential and commercial painter. They finally decided to stop.

“Just as we were about to give up, I got pregnant,” says Elle. “But we didn’t allow ourselves to get too excited until we heard the heartbeats.”

I work so I can help pay our bills on time and so that I can contribute more toward our family’s future. 

I met Mark at a bar 15 years ago. I knew he was the one. Things flourished pretty quickly because I felt comfortable with him. Conversation flowed. It was all so simple. We got married about two years later, in 1997. Says Mark, with a chuckle: “She was the one who hit on me. I remember how cheerful she was and things just clicked.” 

It took seven years to get pregnant. After a year and a half of trying, Mark and I got concerned. I got checked out, which led to several surgeries. I had an ectopic pregnancy. They had to remove the fallopian tube the baby was in. We had no choice but to go for in vitro. When we moved to New Jersey from New York, we did our research for an employer that would cover in vitro. We were so happy that McGraw-Hill covered it.

In vitro is hard. I had mood shifts. On some cycles, the embryo wasn’t viable, so they didn’t implant it. We had to keep waiting and trying again. Mark thought it was okay to stop, but I wanted to keep trying. 

“Maybe you should just leave,” Mark remembers Elle telling him after years of trying and failing to have a child. “She worried I would someday blame her that we didn’t have kids. I never would have held it against her. I married her and that was it, for better or for worse.” 

We got to the point where it was too much for us. I couldn’t handle the drugs anymore and was worried about cancer risks. We decided to try one last time—and that’s when I got pregnant. After all the ups and downs, the pregnancy was, happily, smooth and uneventful. 

I took a lengthy break from McGraw- Hill to enjoy the twins. Mark’s business was doing well, so we realized we could swing it financially. I was home with Joey and Juliana until they were 2 years old. 

The twins were a lot of work, but they were really good babies, really regimented. I’m organized and all about schedules. We joked that they were our robot babies—they ate and slept like clockwork. When you’re raising twins without help, “you have no choice but to dive in,” says Mark.

We realized we needed more space when the twins were a year old. So we packed up everything we owned in pods in our driveway during the renovations and moved in with my father-in-law. Our house was gutted. A tarp took the place of our roof. 

Our contractor took off with our $74,000—on Halloween, no less. We discovered later that he had a drinking problem. He apparently ran out of money and couldn’t finish our  job. We had to redo almost everything he’d done and hire people to help Mark complete the job. 

To get out of debt, I realized it was time to go back to work. I called up HR at McGraw-Hill to see if I could return to work there. Five weeks later they called with the perfect job. My boss, Eileen Groeger, and I hit it off. She hired me on the spot. “Elle is a self-motivated, hardworking woman who always has a smile for everyone,” says Groeger, director of McGraw-Hill Education inventory and business unit support, Business Service Center; Americas. 

It was hard to hand over the twins to strangers when they started child care. But they love it—an incredible place with loving, smart, creative teachers. 

I always wanted to get a bachelor’s degree. So I went back to college last year, studying online at Kaplan University with a focus in psychology. I was nervous, and I didn’t know if I could handle it. My husband is a huge part of why I’m able to do this. He’s really proud of me. I’m getting a 4.0! I feel more grounded and confident. Another reason I am able to attend college is that McGraw-Hill gives me $5,000 a year in tuition reimbursement as well as $1,000 a year toward my kids’ pre-K classes. 

I sometimes feel like quitting because school is tough for me and gets in the way of my life. But then I think about how fast the days seem to be going by. I am determined to have a career that’s meaningful to me. If I don’t work hard now, I’ll regret it. So I focus on the goal. 

Our biggest struggle during the recession is paying the bills on time. 

Mark and I are totally a team. In the morning, one of us pours the cereal, the other boils water for oatmeal. We get the kids ready together. We have a rhythm. I do drop-offs and pickups since I pass their school on my way to work. Whoever gets home first starts dinner. We make simple, healthy meals like fish with vegetables. 

We make sandwiches for all of us for lunch the next day, and then we all play outside. Sometimes we hit the gym as a family. Then it’s the kids’ bathtime and 30 minutes of cartoons or playtime. We brush teeth, read two books, and they’re in bed at 8:30 or 9:00 p.m. “We want to cherish every moment with them,” says Mark. “It goes by so fast.”

A husband who does housework? I have one. We both like things clean. We do what it takes because we want to have at least an hour to hang out together at the end of the day. If Mark didn’t help out, we wouldn’t have that time together. 

He’s a family man. Says Mark: “I work, I come home, and I take care of family stuff. I’m there for Elle. I’m not off doing other things.”

We’re always picking each other up. If Mark is stressing, I am right by his side, trying to shine a light on the positive. If I stress, he reminds me that I can do it. 

When Mark and I don’t agree, we don’t argue. We hear each other out. We listen and try not to be one-sided. We put ourselves in the other person’s shoes and show the other lots of empathy. 

We make each other a priority. Each night after the kids are in bed, Mark and I have quiet time together and talk about our day. Sometimes we treat ourselves to a glass of wine. Says Mark: “We enjoy being together, even if it’s going to the supermarket.”

Kickboxing relieves my stress. When I go to the gym, I like to kick and punch it out. I always feel better after a good workout, which usually carries me through the week and gives me that extra energy. 

My best beauty tip? So silly, but I heard years ago that after you apply lipstick or gloss, put your pointer finger in the center of your mouth as if you were sucking off cake icing from it, close your lips, and pull your finger straight out. That stops the lipstick or gloss from going on your teeth. It’s quite embarrassing when you smile and have pink or red on your front teeth. 

A well-stocked fridge is important. We always have milk, grape jelly, American cheese, orange juice, eggs, mustard, apple juice, yogurt and, when in season, strawberries and blueberries. 

Listening to music is a great stress reliever. I enjoy everything from Etta James and Billie Holiday to Marilyn Manson and Lady Gaga. 

Sometimes I just need to scream. Now and then I have mini breakdowns and yell, sometimes screaming at the kids when they’re misbehaving. I know that isn’t the proper way of handling things, so as I’m screaming, I remind myself about the memories I want to create for my children. I think, This is an ugly memory, and I can redirect my anger in a better, more effective way for them to learn.

I’ve come a long way from the days I worked in nightclubs on weekends, selling roses with my best friend, Denise, 20 years ago. Says Denise: “Elle listens and never judges. She gives and never expects anything back. She finds the good in everyone and never has a negative thing to say.” 

What you focus on expands. I like to think about all the good in my life and how lucky and fortunate I am. I often reflect on my childhood and want to make great memories for my children. I want them to remember that Mommy always hugged me every morning and called me her little biscuit. 

I hope my kids remember things like Mark and me singing a song together to the radio, laughing. I want them to tell their own children one day, “Your grandma always made me chocolate chip happy-face pancakes this way. Delicious.” 

I want my kids to know I used to be cool. Yes, their mom had a motorcycle. First a Ninja and then a CBR—both of them were very fast. I sold the bikes when I got pregnant.

When I was young, I learned that girls can be catty. They will pick on you if you’re different, and that can bring your self-esteem down. My parents didn’t have a ton of money, and I wanted to dress the way everyone else was dressing. I wanted to be able to buy those ugly stretchy jeans everyone was wearing and those belts with your name on them and makeup. I wanted to fit in. 

I was a tomboy, growing up with two brothers. I loved to go fishing and play hockey with the neighborhood kids. I started working when I was 11. I had a daily paper route, and on the weekends that meant waking up at 5:30 a.m. and wheeling a shopping cart half a mile to pick up the newspapers. 

I share my childhood with my kids. I had a loving family. My father fixed the subway rails. He got down there with a flashlight and repaired the train tracks. When I was 15, my mother started working as a cafeteria lunch aide in the Copiague, NY, school district, on Long Island. 

It isn’t about being popular—it’s about being positive. People say I’m always in a good mood. There’s really no reason not to be. I try to remember that whenever I hit those bumps in the road. If there is no positive side, then I figure out how to make the situation more tolerable. I do this not just for me but also for those around me who need support. 

Life is so unpredictable. I just keep my many blessings in my thoughts. 

It’s about surrounding yourself with good energy. I like being around people who are friendly and thoughtful, so that’s what I strive to be in return. Positive energy makes those around you happy, which makes you happier.

When the house is a mess and I’m so tired I can’t move, I think of the calories cleaning will burn.

When it rains on my vacation day, I do something fun I normally wouldn’t do. I also remember that my 37-year-old skin doesn’t need any more sun damage.

When I’m down, talking to my family and friends always cheers me up quickly. When I sweat the small stuff, I force myself to let go. It’s not so important that the throw pillows are in their proper place. I’d rather cuddle with my kids.

When things feel out of control, I reinstate our routine. A routine helps keep me sane and get things accomplished. Once one is in place, the whole family falls in sync and things flow smoothly.