When you think of the milestones in a child’s life, first steps and first words come to mind. But when adolescence hits, another whopper is her first turn behind the wheel. Just consider the way a teen’s daily life is affected by driving: the amount of attention, skill and care it requires; the huge increase in independence it brings; the safety concerns—all this and more, usually at age 15 or 16. But is your teen ready—physically and emotionally—to hit the road?

Though states set their own legal age for driving, most learning permits are issued at 15, and the national average age of obtaining a license is 16. Still, all states now have Graduated Driver Licensing laws, stages of requirements that promote safer and more responsible driving. But before you blithely send your high schooler off to the DMV, consider some statistics: The crash rate per mile driven for 16-year-old drivers is twice as high as for 18- and 19-year-olds, and the rate for 16- to 19-year-olds is four times that of older drivers, according to a study from the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety. Plus, driving is the leading cause of death among U.S. teenagers, says Laurence Steinberg, PhD, author of The Ten Basic Principles of Good Parenting.

Parents need to reflect upon the highly disproportionate number of car accidents involving young teen drivers, asserts Dr. Steinberg. “What the state does is test an adolescent’s understanding of the laws and whether she is able to perform the physical tasks, like parking and turning,” he explains. “But only someone who knows a teenager well can say whether she is really ready to drive.”

Assess how your teen handles stressful situations and feelings of frustration. A driver must be able to maintain calm and control if something surprising or frightening happens. She also needs to exercise good sense. For example, is she apt to obey the law, especially when it comes to driving and alcohol and drug use? Your teen must show willingness to comply with rules established by both you and the government. And how much is she influenced by peers? “A lot of safe driving is about good judgment and mature decision-making in a variety of situations,” says Dr. Steinberg.

If and when you decide your teen should be trusted with the car keys (it may not be at 16), you still need to stay involved for a long time—something even good parents neglect to do. “Some parents quickly let their children go on their own, and that becomes a problem,” warns Robert Hendren, DO, president of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry.

Your eager would-be motorist may protest your decisions about age, times and other conditions of her driving—more fuel for parent-teen tension, Dr. Hendren cautions. To help ease the process for both sides, draw up a list of things that concern you and a contract that includes the terms of her car use (hours, acceptable destinations, who’s allowed in the car with her, absolutely no alcohol or drugs and so on). She needs to understand and agree to the terms and realize that her driving is contingent on adherence to the contract. You need to enforce the rules without exception.
For many teenagers, a driver’s license is more than just legal consent; it’s a mark of privilege and privacy and a step toward adulthood. But only you can determine for sure if your teen is ready for the ride.      

Rules of the Road
Be sure your teen understands the law. Speed limits and seat-belt use are important safety measures she must follow. Many states also forbid handheld cell phone use while driving—a good idea in any case. Keep an open line of communication. Be consistently clear about ground rules, such as letting you know where she’s driving to and when she’ll return. Explain that she must establish trust. If she’s driving with friends when she’s not supposed to or if you find out about drinking or drug use, she has betrayed your trust and must re-earn it if she expects to drive again.