When she was pregnant with her first child, Melissa Bianchi got a none-too-pleasant taste of what life as a female lawyer could be like. A male supervisor at one of her first jobs would wander into her office and make comments like “Don’t you think women make up this whole morning-sickness thing?” Melissa was still in law school and didn’t have a lot of work experience, but she knew this was not the supportive environment she wanted. “The experience showed me a law firm could be a very hard place to be a working mom,” she says.

Though unsure she’d be able to find a family-friendly work culture as a lawyer, Melissa was clear about what was most important to her. “My absolute priority was being a mom,” she asserts. “But I also wanted to work, and I didn’t know how this would play out. I wasn’t sure how law firms would accommodate my desire to work part-time, or even if a part-time schedule would be feasible.”

Fast-forward almost a decade, and things are panning out as Melissa had hoped, thanks in large part to the
progressive work culture at Hogan & Hartson, a Washington, DC–based law firm that allowed her to work a 75 percent schedule from the get-go. Over the years, as her family has grown to three children, she has worked a full-time schedule with flexible hours and also has enjoyed several reduced-hours,schedules, ranging from 50 to 80 percent, without sacrificing opportunities for advancement. In fact, Melissa made partner in January—the first time she was eligible.

“I had a feeling she would succeed from the day she showed up, right out of Stanford Law School, with a very young child and a desire to work part-time,” says Ann Morgan Vickery, managing partner of Hogan & Hartson’s DC office and one of Melissa’s mentors. Melissa arrived around the time the firm’s leaders were trying to make Hogan & Hartson more attractive to parents who were “looking for a meaningful law career without sacrificing a meaningful life,” Ann explains. “The decision to hire Melissa part-time was relatively easy, especially since she insisted on it.”

Soccer Romance
Melissa’s clarity about what she wants has served her well. “She’s a mother first,” echoes Manny Pastreich, her husband of 12 years. “But her career is also important to her. After we put the kids to bed, she’ll work another few hours.”

Melissa and Manny met playing soccer while both attended Harvard University as undergraduates. “Manny was head of our dorm sports and was running my team, but he’d never played soccer in his life,” Melissa recalls, laughing. “He wasn’t the least bit threatened that I was a much better player.” Seeing Melissa, a relatively small classmate, “diving in fearlessly and confidently” impressed Manny: “She had no qualms about shooting balls past an incompetent goalie—me.” Melissa liked the fact that Manny was “grounded, calm and a lot of fun.” Despite their disparity in soccer skills, they were in sync about their desire to make a difference in the world. They got married four years after Melissa graduated, in 1996.

Growing up in Atlanta with two sisters, her mom, a developmental psychologist, and her dad, the headmaster of a private school, Melissa imagined she’d wind up working in education. But when she took some time off after graduating from college, she discovered a deep interest in public policy and law and applied to Stanford Law School.
Melissa’s first child, Elena, was born during her third year at Stanford. “My friends thought I was nuts, but it was deliberate. I wanted to have kids young,” says Melissa, who was 28 at the time.

So began her balancing act. She was back in school the week after Elena was born, leaving the baby with Manny, who had paternity leave. At a time when most of her classmates were focused on their careers, Melissa took on motherhood.

“I was worried and terrified,” she admits. “I didn’t know whether I’d get a job or how I’d make that work with a baby. I knew I was taking a risk.”

The Right Fit
It was a risk Melissa was willing to take because she knew what she wanted: “I didn’t want to work full-time; I wanted to be home with my baby.” Though some potential employers weren’t open to the part-time option, Melissa kept looking until she found a family-friendly firm.

“I met a lot of women at Hogan & Hartson who worked part-time,” she recalls. “It wasn’t just lip service.”
Melissa opted for Hogan’s part-time schedule based on the firm’s 1,800-hour track rather than its 1,950-hour track. That meant she was responsible for billing 1,350 hours a year, or about 26 hours weekly. “I was working about four days a week, but I would come in when needed on Friday, the fifth day,” she says.

Despite these accommodations, Melissa admits it was difficult. “Law firms and young children are both incredibly demanding,” she says. “It was a challenging process. But I think I’m a better parent when I’m intellec-tually engaged in my work.”

Melissa believes moms are most vulnerable to leaving the legal profession when they transition back to work after having a child. “Firms that help women at this time can build incredible loyalty,” she says. Her mentor, Ann, notes that not all lawyers are as successful as Melissa with the balancing act. “Some do not succeed or choose not to continue to try,” Ann says. “Factors that contribute to Melissa’s success include not only innate talent but also flexibility, focus and the ability to see herself in the role she has worked to achieve.”

Another factor that helped her become even more crucial to the firm was developing an expertise. Melissa’s practice focuses on health-care regulatory and legislative issues. It was Ann who suggested she jump on the opportunity provided by the passage of the new Medicare Prescription Drug Benefit in 2003. “There were no experts in the new Medicare benefit, except possibly a few members of Congress and their staffs,” says Ann. “Within our group, the issue was up for grabs. Melissa grabbed it.” Becoming the go-to person in this area, Melissa says, made her feel she was “not easily replaceable with the next lawyer down the hall.”

Still, success can be a double-edged sword. “It gets harder as you get more senior and become a more important part of the team,” Melissa says. “I feel torn between my kids and my work all the time. I usually go with the biggest need at the moment.”

Career and Kids
One big need came when her daughter Elena began having horrible tantrums as a preschooler, was unfocused, had ear infections and developed a rash no one could diagnose. Melissa knew it was more than the terrible threes. “I went everywhere for answers,” she recalls. “Finally a specialist determined it was an allergic reaction to gluten.”

Melissa throws herself into work with the same gusto but admits that “when things get intense, I have trouble shutting it off.” However, she makes it a point to slow down: “The hard thing is not just to organize and choreograph the dance of career and kids but to make sure I don’t miss the moment I’m in.” Those downtime moments with her kids are “what I value most in life,” she says.

Melissa and Manny coordinate their schedules so that one of them is able to attend swim meets and school functions. The firm’s flexibility means that Melissa has almost always been able to be at her kids’ events. In return, she says, “I’m very flexible about the demands of my job. While I often drop everything and sprint out of the office at 5:00 p.m., my colleagues know they can reach me via BlackBerry anytime and that I’ll respond promptly to a crisis.”

For Melissa, the most difficult part of the day is usually the start. Neither she nor her kids are morning people, so it often feels like a mad dash, with the kids getting up at 7:30 a.m. and leaving for school by 8:00. “We’re very efficient,” Melissa says. “Eat, dress, brush teeth and out the door. I dry my hair with the car heater.” Though Manny is very involved in the kids’ care, Melissa is the “primary parent.” He travels frequently for his work as deputy director of the property services division of the Service Employees International Union, spending two days each week in New York City. They have a full-time caregiver who helps but leaves before dinnertime.

“One of the challenges of my life is that I have little time for things other than family and career,” says Melissa. But she does make time for pro bono work with the Legal Aid Society, helping frail and elderly DC residents get the medications they need. “It keeps me connected to the world outside my family,” she says. The nonprofit recently gave Melissa an award for making a difference. “It was a wonderful honor for me and my firm,” says Melissa, who nervously spoke in front of 500 people when accepting the honor. Manny, whose day-to-day work is focused on helping those in need, was there to cheer her on.

“He spends his whole day every day making a difference but hasn’t received an award,” Melissa says. “Still, just as when we first met, he supports me. He stays committed to what he wants and supports me in what I want.” Manny says he has found in Melissa someone with whom he can “share the pleasures and difficulties of life.” With a laugh, he adds, “And now that she’s on board with Obama—after supporting Hillary long after even our daughters had switched to Obama—we’re even more in sync.”