In a perfect world, the demands of late meetings, company parties, and other obligations wouldn’t interfere with family time, and hey, every parent deserves to catch a movie sans dancing penguins and karate-chopping pandas once in awhile. In either case, it’s tough to leave your child in a stranger’s care, but unfortunately, Aunt Mary may not always be available to babysit. 

Whether you need a nanny to stay with Emily and Joey while you’re at work, or you just need a sitter for the evening while you’re out celebrating your wedding anniversary, we’re sure you can find the perfect babysitter with these simple tips.

However, if you do suspect something’s not quite right with the person you end up with, please pass on sticking expensive and intrusive “Nanny Cams” in teddy bears, alarm clocks, and picture frames (we think it’s unnecessary and just a tad creepy)—we’ll tell you how to do some subtle sleuthing of your own.

Word Of Mouth: Chatting with your friends, neighbors, and fellow parents is an excellent way to find a reliable, trustworthy babysitter or nanny. Be sure it’s someone whose judgment you trust, and quiz them on their likes and dislikes regarding their current care provider. Just try not to take it personally if your neighbor has already found their perfect sitter and isn’t so quick to share!

Check References: There’s no better way to get the scoop on a potential babysitter than to speak with their previous employers. Not only can they confirm facts and offer the candidate’s strengths and weaknesses as a care provider, but you can also discuss specific examples of how the sitter handled unexpected situations. Ask a couple of hypothetical questions: What do you think Joanna would do if my three-year-old suddenly came down with a fever, or if my five-year-old refused to go to bed?

Spend Quality Time: With your sitter, that is. You can ask her to come early to see her in action with your kids, or you can simply set aside some time before you leave and/or after you return home to check in with each other. Nobody wants their child plopped in front of the television all day while their nanny surfs the Internet, so make it a priority to keep the lines of communication wide open—be sure to inquire as to exactly how they spent their time together, what the kids ate for lunch, etc.

Lay Down The Law: Don’t neglect to set some ground rules and specific expectations for how you’d like your son or daughter to be cared for. Do you not approve of your 10-year-old son playing Grand Theft Auto at the neighbor’s house, or your eight-year-old daughter watching “Sex And The City” reruns? This is the time to say so. Be clear with any restrictions you’d like your sitter to enforce on TV time, meal options, play dates, or other activities. That goes for your sitter, too; you have to be the one to tell her whether you’re comfortable with guests in your home while you’re away, or if she can feel free to use your computer to check her email. Be sure to let her know exactly what you expect to come home to: should the kids be fed, bathed, and pajama-clad by the time you walk through the front door?

Think Ahead: While it may be tempting to rush out of the house with your husband for that much-anticipated night out, it’s always a good idea to take the time to prepare your child’s afternoon or evening in advance. Your nanny probably has no idea that there’s a puppet show your toddler would love at the library at 3pm, or a screening of Night At The Museum, your nine-year-old’s current fave, in the park at dusk. Provide your sitter with some ideas for activities before you go; this way, you know the kids aren’t spending the night in front of the television, and it’s a great way for them to bond with their sitter and have some fun while you’re away.

Safety First: We can’t stress this enough—always be sure to brief your sitter or nanny on proper emergency procedures. Any parent knows to expect the unexpected when it comes to their kids, so help your sitter do the same. Go ahead and leave the mile-long list of emergency contacts on the refrigerator, but also remember to show your sitter where the fire extinguishers, flashlights, and first aid kids are. It’s always a good idea to sit down with your family (invite your nanny, too) to establish a specific fire escape plan, and be sure that you hire someone who has been trained in CPR. Above all, fill your sitter in on any allergies your children have, or if they have any special conditions, like asthma, that may require medication or special attention.

Trust Your Instincts: So, you think you’ve found the perfect babysitter or nanny, but you suddenly start feeling that something isn’t right? Call it intuition, maternal instinct, or whatever you want—just don’t ever ignore it. A sitter who is frequently late or unreliable is an obvious reason to head back to the drawing board, but if your nanny is suddenly hesitant to answer your questions or make small talk, arrives dressed more appropriately for a night at the club than a night crawling around on the floor with your kids, or simply doesn’t seem to be listening when you provide instruction (or worse: deliberately breaks your rules), consider these red flags that things aren’t going to work out.

Ask The Kids: Never dismiss your child’s opinion in the process of providing a caregiver for him or her. Even your two-year-old daughter can tell you whether or not she “likes” Stacey, and older children can offer a great deal of perspective on exactly what goes on when you’re not home. If your nanny truly enjoys being in the company of your children, they’ll know it, and will regale you with tales of their fun times together as soon as you walk through the door. Your daughter may complain that Stacey told her “No Hannah Montana until homework is done,” but try to get to the bottom of any legitimate issues the children may be having with their sitter or nanny. If your child is in hysterics when you try to leave them in a particular sitter’s care, it could be more than just separation anxiety. Note any changes in behavior or sleep patterns, as they, too, could be warning signs that they’re not being properly cared for.

Early Bird: No one knows exactly when a movie will end, or precisely how long it takes to eat dinner, so your sitter probably won’t think much of it when you arrive home a little early. Hopefully, you’ll walk in on her in the middle of playing a round of Candy Land with Angie, but if you catch her updating her MySpace page while your daughter is playing by herself in another room, there’s all the proof you need that it’s time to find someone else.

Eye Spy: We admit, it’s a bit sneaky, but there’s certainly no harm in enlisting a friend or neighbor (preferably another parent) to “drop in” on your babysitter. Instruct them to go over and ask to borrow your Dora The Explorer DVD, or there’s always the proverbial cup of sugar they need right away for that cookie recipe. Ask the unexpected “guest” if they saw or heard anything unsettling while they were in your home, and take appropriate action if they did.

Bumps And Bruises: Every happy, healthy child falls off their bike once in awhile. However, if you start noticing that your kids are frequently roughed up or your sitter regularly admits to avoidable accidents, you might have to assume that your caregiver isn’t paying close enough attention—or may even be leaving your child unattended. The same goes for kids who are looking scruffier and dirtier than usual because a competent babysitter knows the importance of regular hand washing and proper hygiene.