You give your kid a big spiel about getting a jump start on her science project, practicing her flute before school rather than before bed and not waiting until the weekend to read the book for a report due on Monday. But she saw how you crammed to file your tax return, barely meeting the midnight April 15 mailing deadline—which, let’s face it, dilutes your well-intentioned message.

Procrastination is an equal opportunity bad habit, affecting children and grown-ups alike. That’s because the reasons for it are as basic as being human: We fear we won’t ace the task; we have feeble time-management skills; we’d simply rather do something else. But for a student, this behavior can derail school success and establish a lifelong problem. Still, things can change: “Procrastination isn’t about being lazy,” says Rita Emmett, a professional speaker and author of The Procrastinating Child: A Handbook for Adults to Help Children Stop Putting Things Off. “It’s not a personality flaw or trait; it’s a habit that can be broken.”

To start, set get-it-done rules for your child: no IM-ing before completing homework; no Internet before cleaning her room. Then look at your tween from the inside out. Is she putting things off because she’s overwhelmed or confused? Does she lack motivation or simply hate the task? To figure out what’s up, try what Emmett calls “car communication.” While driving (or walking) together, ask why she didn’t do that assignment, even if her friends are there. “Often, pals will jump into the chat, offering insight and suggestions,” says Emmett. The reason could be as simple as not being able to see the blackboard in class to take notes or not having the right supplies to get organized. Issues like these are easy to fix once you’re aware of them.

If your child is overwhelmed by responsibilities, work with her to look at one task at a time and break it down. Get her studying for that tough test by talking about what it will cover and listing the main components, whether a series of events leading up to the Revolutionary War or the reasoning behind slavery. Then try Emmett’s STING strategy (see “Send Procrastination Packing”).

Your middle schooler’s put-it-off approach may persist despite your efforts, but don’t nag, advises Emmett. “It’s more constructive to offer reminders. Ask how you can help, like posting notes on her bathroom mirror or setting up reminders on her computer.” The time to help your child develop skills and techniques to kick the procrastination habit is now, so things don’t get worse as she enters high school and encounters a bigger workload. “It only takes a few months to change a habit,” says Emmett, so why put it off?

Send Procrastination Packing

• Try “taking the STING out of feeling overwhelmed,” says Rita Emmett, to beat procrastination: Select one task you’ve been putting off. Commit yourself to doing it right now.
• Time yourself. Give the task one hour. Ignore everything else around you. Forget about other chores or text-messaging your pals, and focus. No breaks allowed. One hour is doable for a middle schooler.
• Give yourself a reward when the task is done. Time with you is your child’s best reward—say, a trip to the mall or Sunday breakfast out.