Q: How do you share child care and housework with your partner?

Michelle Watts
Director of Human Resources
Verizon Wireless
Kids: Michael, 7, Robbie, 5
A: Delegating at home is hard because as a mom, I want to do it all, and as an executive, I’m used to taking charge. However, I’ve learned that we can’t do it all at home. We have to leave our business hats at the office and work with our partners to make decisions together.

In my house, my husband, Steve, and I have identified the tasks we’re good at and enjoy doing. Steve, a stay-at-home dad, does the grocery shopping during the day and cooks the evening meals. He loves to cook and is very creative, while I don’t enjoy cooking—so this made sense. My husband also packs the kids’ lunches, which is something I actually enjoyed doing, so this was hard for me to give up. I used to check the lunches every day to see what my husband packed. But after a while, I realized I was driving myself crazy and creating additional work. I let go and saw that it was okay if he packed something different from what I would have—for instance, peanut butter and jelly as opposed to turkey and cheese. The differences are minor, and the important thing is that our kids are getting the nutrition they need.

We also agreed that Steve would help with the nightly homework. When I get home, I want to spend time with our sons. I can help out with school-related activities, such as reading, without having to worry about getting homework done before the next school day. It takes the pressure off and allows me to enjoy carefree time with our kids.
One of the hardest things for me to give up was attending the kids’ doctors’ appointments with them. Our younger son, Robbie, is autistic, so he has many appointments with different specialists. As a working mom, I can’t be at all of these, so Steve takes the lead on the day-to-day therapy sessions and the more routine types of doctors’ visits. I make sure I’m part of the big appointments where we discuss new therapies or strategies for our son. I’ve even had them conference me in with the doctor so I can be part of these discussions while at work. Our older son, Michael, is a big help to us. He understands that we need to work together as a family.

I’m lucky to have a job at a supportive company that offers great work/life benefits and a wonderful husband at home; they both allow me to be a very involved mom while enjoying a rewarding career. I feel like I have it all—I just don’t have to do it all by myself.

Audrey Reed-Granger
Director, Marketing/PR
Whirlpool
Kids: Reed, 4, Smith, 10 months
A: As a busy mother of two young children, I find new struggles every day, like going grocery shopping, trying to get our daughters to their extracurricular activities and keeping them on schedule.

My husband, Gus, and I switch off taking Reed, our 4-year-old, to ballet, playdates and preschool, and we take turns staying up with our 10-month-old. I take Monday night feedings and cold treatments and he handles Tuesday nights, and so on.

We balance the household chores in a similar manner. This includes trading off loading the dishwasher and sweeping the floors to ensure our baby doesn’t eat our leftovers. I do the laundry and Gus folds. One of us makes the baby’s bottles for tomorrow’s day care. We typically eat a homemade meal five out of seven nights of the week, so I make many of these meals on Sunday to avoid cooking on hectic weeknights. My husband also cooks a few times a week.

Of course, it’s not always 50-50. Sometimes it’s 70-30. It depends on whose schedule is more demanding, who is feeling sick—or sometimes it just comes down to which one of us needs a break. We also hired a cleaning service that comes once a month to do the deep and dirty cleaning so that we can enjoy spending time with our kids—something we like to give 100 percent of our energy and attention to.

Pamela Salkovitz
President
Stride Rite Children’s Group
Kids: Hannah, 15, Dillon, 12
A: I like the word “delegate” when it comes to the office, but not when it comes to the family. At home, we share responsibilities. The household chores are shared based on our natural affinities: My husband, Marc, likes to cook, so he does the grocery shopping and cooking. And our kids help out by clearing the table and doing the dishes. As for the laundry, everyone pitches in: The kids do their own and Marc does ours—but I do all the folding.

Marc is self-employed and works from home, so his schedule is much more flexible than mine. He takes the kids to most of their routine doctors’ appointments, and we try to attend school meetings together. I sign the kids up for camps and activities during school breaks and holidays. Marc and I split the driving: He does weekdays and I do weekends. As for the finances, Marc pays the bills—which is much easier now that most of it is done online. This has always been the toughest task to share. It took many years to figure this one out, but we’ve come to the conclusion that due to my busy travel schedule, it works best for him to handle the bills.

Though Marc has the lion’s share of kid duties during the week, he enjoys it. Our kids are lucky to have such a great father at home to help with homework and snacks—and to be an integral part of their everyday lives.