I recently spoke with a famous porn star (for research, of course) who, when faced with women complaining about losing their sex drive, helpfully suggests they just go out and find it! Easy for her to say, but she does have a point. Moms are sexual beings, no matter how gross the idea is to your 10-year-old, and what was once lost can certainly be found, with a bit of effort.

A flagging libido can be blamed on a number of reasons—work stress, family stress, personal stress—well, there is a theme! And the fact of the matter is that if we don’t take the time to truly nurture our sexual thoughts and needs, there just isn’t going to be a heck of a lot of desire. And with all the time we spend late nights at work, helping the kids with homework, making sure the cat is fed or the goldfish aren’t dead, cleaning the house, making dinner, catching up on “Desperate Housewives,” and waiting for our economic stimulus checks so we can pay off that credit card—no one has time to even think about doing the deed. Simply put, you have to make time. And just like that friendship from college that has withered away from not enough contact, the same thing is going to happen to your sex drive if you don’t take care of it. The more you get frisky, the more you will want to get frisky. So here’s how to kick start those hormones…and there isn’t a better time than now. Sex is everywhere—the birds, the trees, the flowers—so do what you can to bring a spring awakening into your own bedroom.

Buy lingerie.
It doesn’t matter if you feel you have some pounds to lose—there are pretty little things out there to cover the spots you want to hide. There is nothing sexier than a dash of sheer, a peek of lace, or the feel of silk on your skin—put the cotton panties away. And it’s not just for your husband—you’ll feel instantly more feminine once you slip into a cute little number. Add some scented candles and you’ve got foreplay.

Write notes.
Never underestimate the power of sweet nothings jotted on paper scented with your perfume. Penning a note with the words, “7 o’clock, before the kids get home from football practice, meet me in the bedroom, no clothing necessary,” will not only pump up your hubby’s imagination, but will have you looking forward to what you’ll do later throughout the day. Place the note in his wallet, send him a text, or include it in an email with the subject line “Me + You.” Do all three throughout the day and 7 o’clock might come sooner than you think.

Get a Brazilian.
No, don’t score a “professional” from the kinky back pages of the paper—get a Brazilian bikini wax. Stop rolling your eyes! It’s not just for adult film stars and here is why: what is your most sensitive spot down there? Your clitoris. Can you even find it with all that hair? Sure, you’ll have to endure some not-so-pleasant waxing on your most private of parts, but you’ve been through childbirth and this is nothing in comparison. (Never attempt to do it yourself—make an appointment with a recommended professional at an upscale spa.) If you try this, at least once, all your senses will be heightened not only during sex, but it makes the water trickling down from the shower all the more fun.

Masturbate.
Tell the truth—when was the last time you took care of business yourself? You know the saying: If you don’t love yourself, no one else will? Same goes for sexual self-exploration, but it’s not just a matter of no one else will, it could be that no one else can. Touching yourself will help you learn what turns you on, and you can relay this to your partner, making paired sex even more satisfying. Plus, there are other benefits to self-pleasure besides the big O—it relieves stress and prevents insomnia. Chances are you can take yourself to climax in under two minutes. Who doesn’t have two minutes?

Schedule.
The reality is that you’re both too busy to have sex, and while scheduling in time to get it on isn’t the most romantic thought, it can help make things happen. Here’s the thing: don’t tell your partner what you are scheduling. When you realize that you’ll have an hour on Friday before the kids get home, plan to make those 60 minutes the most scintillating moments of the week. Is your man out washing the car, watching ESPN, or trying to nap? Refer to any of the above hints to get his motor revved up for you.

Plan a getaway.
A friend recently told me that the only time she and her husband have sex is on vacation. Sad, especially if vacation only happens once a year. Solution? Go on vacation more! Even if you can’t dash off to Mexico for a sun- and sex-drenched fiesta, rent a room at a swanky local hotel and take full advantage of the whirlpool jets in the Jacuzzi tub. Just tell the sitter you’re going to the movies…it can be a late night.