It wasn’t unusual for school to be canceled because of typhoons, earthquakes and military attacks when Phebe Neely was growing up in the Philippines. “I didn’t know anything different,” she says. “Being the daughter of a military officer makes you adapt to uncertainty. It seemed like a big adventure.” But when she was 13, the adventure took a frightening turn: Volcano Mt. Pinatubo erupted, wiping out homes and food and water supplies in the area where Phebe and her family lived. Widespread looting followed. Forced to leave the Philippines, they moved to the United States, settling in Pennsylvania. “We left with what we could carry,” she says. “I had my clothes in one hand, my cat in the other.”

While the chaos and loss felt overwhelming at the time, Phebe believes the experience helped make her the resilient person she is today. It’s not surprising that these days, what she craves above all else is stability. “I chase security more than anything,” says the effervescent Deloitte senior manager and mom of 4-year-old Maria Rosita. She can’t help but laugh when she explains the career path she has followed as a result. “Few have a passion for accounting, but that’s what I studied at the University of Pittsburgh because I’m very practical-minded,” she says. “I wanted to pay college debt and have a job, and I thought the most secure thing to do was to major in accounting.”

Seeking a Role Model
Of course, not all accounting majors land a paid internship at a Big Four accounting leader like Deloitte, but Phebe impressed the auditing, accounting and financial advisory services firm enough to be hired as an intern her junior year in college. At the start of her senior year, she was told a full-time job as an auditor was waiting for her upon graduation. “Talk about security,” Phebe says. “I didn’t have to stress my last year of college about where I’d work.”

People who yawn when they hear the word “accounting” don’t realize that “it’s not just about taxes and has very little to do with math,” Phebe says. It’s about understanding regulatory guidance and applying it to a client’s business, she explains. “Accounting is the language of business. It’s actually a good way to get a foot in company doors and a seat at CEO tables where the talk is about business.”

When Phebe joined Deloitte, she searched for role models. “I was learning the ropes,” says Phebe, who is half Filipino (her mom) and half Irish American (her dad). “I was looking for a working mom, someone I could relate to.” She soon found Wendy Schmidt, a principal at Deloitte and a mom, who has been a significant mentor. “Wendy helped me navigate my way through a new office culture, a new set of office politics, and went out of her way to introduce me to networks she knew would help my career path,” Phebe says. “She leads by empowering and inspiring others.” Wendy also helped Phebe establish a reputation in the New York market and navigate maternity leave.

Struggling with Guilt
One of Phebe’s personal goals has always been to be a mom, and she felt that to get the flexibility she’d need, she would have to establish a strong reputation early on. “When I started at Deloitte I told my bosses, ‘I’ll give you my life—travel anywhere. But at some point I’ll ask to slow down to have a family.’” Phebe cashed in on that goodwill in 2004 when she and her husband, Mark, whom she married in 2003, had Maria.

Deloitte offered Phebe six months of maternity leave, but she returned to work after four months. “I was really tired,” she recalls. “Being a working mom is hard, but being a stay-at-home mom can be harder.” She craved adult interaction. She also realized while on leave that she derives a lot of confidence from her job. “I felt like a terrible mom running back to work, missing work,” she admits. “I felt guilty missing work while holding my beautiful new baby.”
Yet she understands her motivation. The struggle her own stay-at-home mom faced while raising her and her sister, Levie, is never far from her thoughts.

“I knew that life wasn’t for me,” Phebe says, recalling her mom’s stress. “The one word to describe my mom was ‘anxious.’ I associate being a stay-at-home mom with being on edge.” Because her Navy officer dad traveled often, for as much as six or nine months at a stretch, Phebe felt her mom was pretty much a single mother. “I give her so much credit,” she says. “Our dad was in and out of our lives constantly.” This was a particular hardship for her mom, a Filipina who was learning English and living in an unfamiliar country.

Discovering her identity
Finding her own place in the world has been a challenge for Phebe, too, largely because she looks neither
Filipino nor Irish. In fact, she’s often mistaken for a Latina or an African American. “This has made for some
uncomfortable situations,” she says. “It took most of my life for me to develop a sense of belonging and to feel comfortable being biracial.”

Phebe is now concerned that Maria—whose dad is Caucasian—may also grow up confused about her racial and cultural identity. “Maria is twenty-five percent Filipino but looks a hundred percent Caucasian and has a mother who doesn’t look Caucasian,” Phebe says. “She’s already a little confused because sometimes I’m mistaken for her nanny.”

To help Maria understand her background, Phebe plans to take her to the Philippines this year. “I want Maria to see that other children grow up happily with not a fraction of the luxuries children here have.” She’s also teaching her daughter to appreciate that being biracial gives you a valuable perspective about people and the world.
Phebe feels that her own perspective has served her well during her nine years at Deloitte. And she’s taken steps throughout this time to take charge of her career and make sure she’d advance, like obtaining her CPA so she could work with public clients registered with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission. Being able to take on some of the company’s most significant clients helped her garner promotions.

At one point, however, Phebe was burned out. A colleague suggested she look into the company’s financial
advisory services group, and in 2001 she transferred there from auditing. The challenges were great, but so were the payoffs. Phebe is now in a management development program for a year or two, in which she’s developing new areas of expertise. “I’ll go back to client service with new skills I can leverage,” she says.

Running for Her Life
What makes Phebe stand out at work, says her colleague Elene Karanicolas, is her ability to connect with people. “Phebe’s at ease with anyone, whether it’s an important client, a senior partner or a staff person,” says Elene, a senior manager at Deloitte Financial Advisory Services. “And when she sets her mind on a goal, she’s going to achieve it.”
One of those goals: Phebe was determined to run marathons after Maria was born, and she made it happen, participating in five so far. “Setting aside time for myself is a challenge, but it’s critical for my peace of mind,” she says. When her daughter was 4 months old, Phebe started taking longer runs because she felt she needed the extra time for herself. “It was a good way for me to reconnect with the person I was before Maria, before my career,” she explains.

Maria is close at hand after a race to comfort her mom. “She stretches with me. She’ll get out the frozen vegetables to ice my knees.” Though Phebe and Mark separated two years ago, he lives nearby and often takes care of their child, especially when Phebe travels internationally. Phebe also has hired a caregiver, Fanny, to help with some of Maria’s day-to-day needs, since Phebe’s parents and sister now live in Florida. Phebe calls Mark and Fanny “the hub of my support system.”

“I think Maria will be a star one day, as she’s very outgoing,” says Phebe’s friend Elene. Maria seems to enjoy the routine of her daily schedule: Fanny drops her at preschool at 7:00 a.m. and picks her up at 3:30 p.m. Phebe needs that support, because she leaves for work at 6:30 a.m. and stays at the office until around 5:30 p.m.
Despite her busy schedule, Phebe makes time to volunteer. She serves on the Committee for the Future for the New York Women’s Foundation, which provides programs for underprivileged girls and women. And being the practical person she is, Phebe will mix her passion for running with volunteer work by joining the Team for Kids (TFK) crew for the New York City Marathon this fall. TFK supports fitness programs for low-income kids.

While Phebe gives her all at work and to the causes she believes in, she feels fortunate to have someone who gives so much to her. In fact, the best part of her day, she says, is when she comes home to Maria. “She’s always so excited to see me that she drops what she’s doing, runs over to me and hugs me,” Phebe says. “She’ll take my laptop and try to carry it to the table. Then she’ll go find my slippers.” Maria associates her mom’s shoes being off with her being home for a while, and that means time together.

“Maria is so happy and playful,” Phebe says with pride. “She’s a wonderful reminder that I must be doing something right.”