Before she became pregnant, Lori Mukoyama, 33, had been working at a hectic Chicago ad agency. “I’d always thought I would go right back after maternity leave,” she says. But shortly before the end of her three-month leave, a former employer she’d dropped in on to say hello to offered her a job that would allow her to work from home. “I suddenly realized I didn’t want to be apart from my new baby so much,” Lori explains. “So I took the offer.”
Splashy media headlines have focused recently on the “opting-out” phenomenon, in which successful businesswomen decide to exit or at least ratchet down their career track for the mommy track—sometimes after telling their employers they’ll be back and enjoying paid maternity leave before quitting their jobs.
The real story: Some women do leave their jobs after having a baby, but the percentage is very small. A Department of Labor Family and Medical Leave Act study from 2000 found that 98 percent of employees who took leave under FMLA returned to work for the same employer, says Debra Ness, president of the nonprofit National Partnership for Women & Families. And often women who leave their jobs do so to work from home or to start their own business to get the flexibility they want—not to exit the workforce. Still, it can be tempting to get paid for maternity leave while you’re pondering postbaby life. But is it legal, or ethical, to tell your boss you’re coming back when you might not? Here’s the scoop on the right ways to handle your leave.
Know your rights. “If an employee decides not to return after the end of her maternity leave, the employer usually wouldn’t have legal recourse, just as they generally wouldn’t against someone who took a sabbatical to, say, care for an elderly parent,” says Gina Chang, a labor attorney on the American Bar Association’s Federal Labor Standards Legislation Committee. One exception: if you have a contractual obligation, such as a signed agreement. In some cases, an employer could seek repayment of benefits if you decide not to return.
Be honest. You may not know what you’ll want as a new working mom until you’re in the situation. Lori, for one, still has a good relationship with her former employers at the ad agency. “I was honest with them, and they knew I hadn’t been looking for another job behind their backs,” she says. If you decide before or during your leave that you don’t want to return to your job, and you want to maintain good relations with your employer (you might need those references later on), tell your boss as soon as possible—not the day before you’re scheduled to return, advises Chang. This way, though you might forfeit the rest of your paid leave, you won’t burn bridges.
Consider your colleagues. When you decide to leave a job abruptly, you risk leaving coworkers in the lurch. Think about offering to return to work temporarily until your employer can find a replacement for you.
Explore flex before your leave. If you know you’ll want some sort of flexibility upon returning to your job, “work with your employer to find a mutually beneficial situation,” says Ness. “Identify the ways you can meet job responsibility and get flexibility, and demonstrate to your employer how it can be done.”
Advocate together. Increasingly, companies are forming affinity groups in which employees can discuss shared issues and seek solutions. Use the power of the group to approach your employer with flex solutions. “Finding work life balance is a challenge not just for parents but for everyone,” says Ness, “and good solutions will ultimately be beneficial for the whole company in terms of retaining talented employees.”
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