Uggs. Juicy hoodies. Another Wii accessory. These are just a few of the must-have items school-age kids are whining for. “Everybody has one but me!” your child rails. And sometimes, in your well-meaning desire to help her feel confident, you cave and pop for the item. But where does it end?

It seems tomorrow brings yet another expensive demand. It’s nothing new, according to Bonnie Harris, the author of Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With. Keeping up with the Joneses is a recurring theme, but due to the marketing of luxe items to younger and younger kids and the ads that target them, your child may now seem to have a more exaggerated, high-cost case of “the gimmes.” And in the thick of gift-giving season, her wish list is sure to be long and pricey. But there are simple ways to bring her back to reality and teach her the meaning of money.

First, let her know her wish list can be as long as she wants, and she can add to it all year round. But when it comes time for birthdays or holidays, she’ll need to prioritize and choose her top three items (within reason). If she has allowance money saved up, she can buy additional things herself. She’ll learn not only financial planning but also decision-making and delayed gratification. Next, have your child explain what she wants and why. Then tell her you understand where she’s coming from, but be honest and say why she can’t have it. Perhaps your family is short on cash or you think that particular toy is harmful in some way.

Surprisingly, kids often think that parents get everything they want but choose to make their kids suffer, says Harris. To this point, you might say something like “You know, I saw this chair I really wanted for the living room. I loved it. But I didn’t buy it because it was just too expensive.” She’ll learn the rules apply to everyone, not just her. Volunteering and donating to charity are also great ways to help your child realize how much she already has and that other kids have very little.

Research some local children’s charities and have your child help pick out gifts—or donate something new or gently used of her own—for kids in need. Volunteer as a family at a soup kitchen. You’ll all get into the holiday spirit by lending a hand to those less fortunate. And your child may just decide she doesn’t need those Uggs after all.

Mixed Messages

Watch for ways you might unintentionally encourage your child’s materialism:

Guilty gifts. Short on time, working or divorced parents might buy things for their kids to make up for it. Even if you have to schedule way ahead, it’s better to give the gift of time together.

Like mom, like kid. If you find yourself talking about wanting the new designer jeans your friend just bought, think about what this says to your child.

Bad bribes. We’ve all offered “rewards” to get our child to do something or behave better. But too much of this just shows she can get what she wants by acting bratty.