He’s your baby, not a football, so the way some of your relatives toss him around at holiday gatherings makes you want to call a penalty on the play. All your baby has to do is glance at Uncle Ted and instantly he’s airborne, being swooped from a shoulder ride to rocket-speed flights around the living room. You watch, worry and wonder: Is your child safe? Or should you call a time-out?

Breathe easy. The boisterous child’s play that uncles, grandpas and dads are known for can be beneficial to your baby’s physical and psychological development. “When done safely, rough play can give your older baby or toddler a sense of freedom and movement, help him learn what his body can do, promote balance and coordination and foster trust,” says Atlanta-based pediatrician Jennifer Shu, MD, editor-in-chief of the American Academy of Pediatrics book Baby & Child Health: The Essential Guide from Birth to 11 Years. Plus, this physical fun lets him release pent-up energy and frustration.

Still, rough play can cross the line. “Babies can’t effectively tell you when they’re uncomfortable, so watch for cues and follow your instincts,” says Dr. Shu. If you notice your child is fussing or is agitated, it’s time to intervene. Sometimes toddlers giggle out of nervousness, and it can be hard to tell when things are going too far, so keep an eye out. This is especially true with tickling, which should never be allowed for more than a few seconds. For safety’s sake and your baby’s comfort, Dr. Shu recommends making sure rough play remains brief, stays in areas with soft surfaces (like carpet or grass) and is done only with a firm but gentle grip around the baby’s trunk—meaning no throwing. And never let anyone swing your young child around by his hands, which can lead to arm or shoulder dislocation.

It’s totally right to set rules with relatives when your baby’s safety is involved. You might say, “I’m so glad you like to play with him. But please don’t throw him up in the air. He’ll stay safe and have fun if you keep your hands gently but securely around his middle.” And with cousins and nieces who want to play mommy, make sure their hands are washed. Then hold the baby in your lap while they jiggle his feet or softly kiss his head.

Remember, hurt feelings heal faster than bumps and bruises. So speak up if you feel things are going too far. And if you’re unsure about what to say, you can always use the tried-and-true “Time to change the diaper.”   

The Way to Play  For safe physical play, try these ideas from Gymboree Play & Music senior program developer Helene Silver Freda.

TICK TOCK. Hold your baby under his armpits and chant “tick tock, tick tock” as you gently rock him from side to side like a pendulum.

WAY HIGH. Sit on the sofa, lift your baby in the air and lean back as you bring him to your lap for a bouncy ride. He’ll never miss the extra height of your standing up.

KICK IT AROUND. Bring a deflated beach ball when you visit relatives or go to the park, blow it up, then kick, toss, spin or roll it with your baby—and listen for the laughter.