Q: How do you make sure you don’t get overbooked during the holidays?

Malini Moorthy
Senior Corporate Counsel,
Litigation, Legal Division, Pfizer
Kids: Aidan, 5, Davin, 2
A: I approach the holidays much as I approach everything in my life—by recognizing (sometimes begrudgingly) that I have to make choices and prioritize. I used to put tremendous pressure on myself to attend every business event, accept all social and family invitations and still find time to host the party of the season. I’ve since learned to say no and to accept that while I may be able to do and have everything over a lifetime, I can’t do and have it all at the same time.
For me, social obligations break down into three groups: business events, social events hosted by friends or family and events that my husband and I host. Of the three, I find business events the easiest to categorize into (a) must attend, (b) attend if possible and (c) skip. As an in-house lawyer in the legal division of a large company where teamwork is highly valued, my must-attend events include my division’s holiday party, my holiday lunch with my administrative assistant and paralegals and the company’s holiday open house.

Outside of these, I pick and choose which functions I attend based on how critical the relationship is to our company and how well it fits my schedule. The latter involves balancing my family’s needs and negotiating with my husband, a psychologist, who frequently sees patients in the evenings.

I’m fortunate to be surrounded by a wonderful network of family and friends, but it’s nearly impossible to see them all during the holidays. Moreover, my priority is to spend time with my husband and children. I’m unwilling to give up precious time with my kids on evenings and weekends, so the must-attend events are the ones that include our whole family. Aside from these, I try to schedule a lunch or dinner at a later date with those friends whose parties I can’t attend. The bottom line is that I want to make the holidays as stress-free as possible. My sanity comes from being selective and saying no.

Judy Greffin
Chief Investment Officer and Senior Vice President, Allstate Investments,
Allstate Insurance
Kids: Charlotte, 16, Audrey, 15, Elliot, 12
A: We have one simple rule when it comes to the holidays: Family first. Fortunately, almost everybody accepts that principle, so the toughest part of holiday scheduling is done. If family comes first, family events are the hub, and everything else revolves around them.

We knew early there were holiday rituals we didn’t want to change—when we pick out our Christmas tree, spending Christmas Eve at home with the family, the Christmas Day trip to small-town Ohio with all the relatives—so we institutionalized them.

Our extended family has tried to schedule after-Christmas trips every couple of years. It used to be we could plan them around the table at Thanksgiving, but now, if these getaways aren’t planned by summer, our family just can’t make the commitment.

A few years ago, I surrendered to the Family Calendar. The kids actually took the lead, insisting their first computers be Apple iMacs. My husband discovered that the Macs let us maintain individual calendars, combine them when we need to, “publish” them online in real time, email them to all the relatives and respond to holiday opportunities as soon as they present themselves.

Of course, the downside for my husband is that since he developed the Family Calendar, he has to manage it. But if he sacrifices his time, he gets to be the gatekeeper for making sure everyone registers his or her holiday priorities. If I don’t register my annual holiday party for coworkers on the calendar, I have no standing in the family for doing it in the first place. If something isn’t scheduled on our Macs, it doesn’t exist.

For my business obligations, I have another simple principle: Plan way ahead. The advantages of scheduling months in advance are huge because you get the people, places and agendas you want. Over the holidays, there’s a much better chance of entertaining and being entertained by the people who matter most—and the Family Calendar accommodates long-standing business priorities more or less without complaint.

I can imagine all this organizing for the holidays might seem like we’re not actually enjoying them. But when everything’s under control, that’s when we get to appreciate the holidays the most.

Kelly McNamara Corley
Executive Vice President and
General Counsel and Secretary,
Discover Financial Services
Kid: Caroline, 11
A: Although it can be a hectic time, the holidays actually encourage me to have greater balance. Every year, my husband and I take our daughter to see the Nutcracker ballet and the window displays and holiday lights in Chicago. It wouldn’t be the holidays without these events, so I put them on my schedule long before holiday invitations arrive.
I also treat my daughter’s school activities and church events as unmovable priorities. Putting them on the calendar ensures there are no conflicts later.

Coordinating schedules is also key. Some of my friends and family compare calendars to prevent overlaps and lock in dates early. My colleagues and I keep a department holiday calendar so we’re all aware of one another’s schedules and can work within those parameters or cover for one another if needed.

The volume of holiday activities means that I have to be efficient with my time. If I’m not able to attend a
party, I look for alternate ways to spend time with the host. That may mean meeting for lunch or even doing some holiday shopping together. If I’m not shopping with friends and family, I shift some of it online, to free up time. The ability to spend time with family and friends—during the holidays and all year round—is what matters most in life.