The iconic song title “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” may seem overly simple, but it does send a valuable message about being optimistic—one that applies even to little kids. While research on optimism suggests that it’s at least partly genetic, experts also say we can learn to be more positive, no matter how we’re wired. Another iconic phrase applies here as well: the earlier, the better. So if your preschooler is a glass-half-empty kind of kid, you can steer her in a more positive direction, says Karen Reivich, PhD, coauthor of The Optimistic Child, who partnered with Pepperidge Farm to create the Fishful Thinking program (fishfulthinking.com).

“An opti-mistic child is able to notice the good things in life and believes she can make positive things happen,” she explains. And young children who may not have this ability innately can develop it. The upside: Research shows that optimistic thinkers have less depression and anxiety, better health and resiliency, live longer and are more successful in school. Even if your child is already upbeat, it’s important to support this quality. One way to focus on the positive: Turn any walk into a “happiness scavenger hunt,” suggests Dr. Reivich. Ask your child to point out things that make her feel happy. You might say that the clear blue sky makes you happy because you can stay outdoors. Your child might point to a flower that makes her happy because it’s pretty. “In general, we seem to pay more attention to the bad than to the good,” Dr. Reivich notes. “This activity will show your child we can pay just as much attention to the positive and lay a foundation for an optimistic attitude.” Also try keeping a happiness journal. Right before bed each night, ask your child to tell you three good things that happened that day, and write them down for her in a journal. As she gets older, she can write them herself. “Nighttime is when we tend to ruminate about problems and obsess about fears and worries,” says Dr. Reivich. “Asking your child to focus on happy thoughts will counter this tendency.” Another factor in a child’s optimism is her belief in her own abilities. To promote your little girl’s confidence, rather than saying how tall her block tower is, say instead, “You stacked those blocks so carefully, and your tower looks really strong.” She’ll learn that positive outcomes are the result of her own actions—yet another happy thought!   

The Bright Side

Your actions, and those you suggest, can show your child how to think positive, says Dr. Karen Reivich.

Call a do-over.

If you catch yourself saying something negative like “You always fight with your brother,” admit you’d like to rephrase it. Then say, “What can you do right now to get along better?”

Savor good moments.

At dinnertimes, have everyone describe something about the meal. Verbalizing, say, the squishiness of the mac and cheese will help your child slow down and pay attention to the happy things she’s experiencing.