Learning to use the potty can stir up a mass of conflicting feelings in little kids. Being able to go to the bathroom by themselves offers their first real glimpse of independence, yet even the most eager child may be frightened of the process or feel unsure about "taking care of business" in this whole new way. What helps them get through it? A little praise—and a great deal of patience and support from the adults around them.Some of the literature on the subject suggests that parents begin potty training their children before the age of 2. In fact, an approach that has received an enormous amount of publicity suggests that training can even be done in infancy. Noted pediatrician Alan Greene, MD (www.drgreene.com), the author of From First Kicks to First Steps and a father of four, says some toddlers may be ready between 18 months and 2 years; otherwise, consider toilet training your child in the months leading up to his third birthday. Not only will he be more emotionally mature and able to deal with this big change, he'll also be more developed physically, which will help him handle the new things happening to his body.You, too, need to understand and acknowledge this big change. It can take a while for kids to complete the toilet-training process. Since some don't develop a sufficiently sensitive bladder until age 5, it could take that long for them to stop wetting the bed. Try to be patient, and have faith that things will happen in their own time. Any nervousness on your part may make things more difficult and create anxiety in your child.Experts agree that it's essential to look at what's going on with your whole family before you start toilet training your little one. Even if your child has begun to demonstrate signs of readiness—sitting still for long periods of time, keeping his diapers dry for at least two hours or telling adults he needs to go to the potty—you need to feel that you're ready, too. For instance, don't embark on a toilet-training journey when your family is going through a major transition, like moving to another city or anticipating the birth or adoption of another child. Events like these add pressure to what is already a difficult time. In addition, it's a good idea to wait until you've finished any big projects at work: You need to be able to cheer your child on—and cheer him up—without anything else troubling you. When the time seems right, there are ways to make the experience more comfortable for your child. Consider keeping the potty in a room he likes to spend time in. Keep a casual eye on his behavior, too: If you notice him making any of the gestures that usually signify his need to go to the toilet, gently ask if he'd like to take a bathroom break. You can encourage him to go more often by attaching a sense of regularity to the ritual. He could, for example, sit on the toilet after getting out of bed in the morning, after eating his meals and before brushing his teeth at night. For some children, the thought of releasing their bladder or bowel into a potty or toilet may be uncomfortable or even frightening—and kids will hold it in instead. Some children may urinate but refuse to poop. If your child is nervous, he may unconsciously tense his muscles, which may prevent him from going. Or he may resist to maintain a sense of control. So help him to relax: Some children enjoy and are soothed by paging through a picture book or being read to while they're trying to go to the bathroom. If you decide to read to your child, you could turn it into a teachable moment by choosing a book on using the potty. You could even rub his tummy if it helps to relax him. If your child wants to be left alone to concentrate, that's okay, too. Above all, avoid trying to force him or letting the situation turn into a power struggle. Just speak and act calmly so he can be calm, too. At some point, he'll relax—and go.Once your child begins to use the toilet, realize that accidents are a part of the process. Dr. Greene suggests minimizing their effect by talking to your preschooler about them before they occur. Let him know that he's going to wet his pants once in a while, that it's a natural part of the process and that you won't be angry with him if something happens. Don't make a big deal about accidents, even if he's previously kept his underwear dry for weeks (or even months). Many kids backslide at some time.Do, however, take a closer look at the situation if he starts experiencing frequent problems after a few months of successfully using the toilet. Ask yourself whether any big changes have recently occurred in his life, since such lapses often happen for emotional reasons. Rule out other causes with a visit to your pediatrician, who can help you pinpoint any relevant medical problems, such as a urinary tract infection.During the training period, be sure you get everyone in your child's life on the same page, Dr. Greene says. If you find that your little one gets very upset every time he has an accident, for example, speak to your caregiver or day-care provider about the gentlest and most effective ways to comfort him. Consider the requests of others, too: Potty training is a joint effort, so try to be understanding if your preschool wants your child to wear a pull-up diaper until he's completed the process. He may want to use the toilet anyway, especially if he sees his peers doing it.Above all, continue to give your child your unconditional love and support. Reassure him that he's doing just fine, no matter what stage of the process he's currently in, and reward his successes with enthusiasm and words of praise. ("I'm so proud of my big boy!") A warm hug or other sign of encouragement can help to counteract any feelings of embarrassment or disappointment that your child might be struggling with. If done correctly, and in an environment of love and trust, potty training will become another cherished memory for you—and a confidence-boosting preview of all the things you'll accomplish together in the future.The Basics Plotting your potty-training strategy can help ensure a positive experience for everyone involved.