Few things are more guilt-inducing than your preschooler clinging to your leg screaming, "Mommy, don't go to work!" Just last week she was all smiles when you trotted off to the office, but these newly woeful goodbyes are suddenly persistent—and painful. Take heart: They actually represent the chance for your child to grow and learn and for you to remind yourself why it's important for you to work. Separation anxiety is normal at this stage in a child's development, and it can come on suddenly, even after periods of seeming independence. "Young children don't yet have enough experience to know that each time you go away, you'll definitely come back, or that they'll be able to manage without you," says parenting expert Meri Wallace, author of Keys to Parenting Your Four-Year-Old.

Your little one may have been fine during the first few weeks of preschool—children enjoy the novelty of new friends and strange toys, she explains. Once she realized this school thing was permanent, however, her feelings may have changed. And though she might be fine when you head out to the store (knowing you'll only be gone for a short time), some part of her may realize that your work takes more time and attention.

Tempting as it may be to sneak away in the morning, it's important to have a proper goodbye and to remind her you'll be back. If your child is upset, start by acknowledging her emotions and the fact that it's hard to say goodbye, even for you. Explain in simple terms why you work: because it's something that makes you happy, and because it helps you earn money to buy food and a home and other important things. Then talk about how wonderful it will be to come home after work later and do something fun with her.

Also examine your own feelings. If you feel guilty about going to work, chances are your child will pick up on it. Think about everything she gains from her relationships with others, such as your caregiver, her teacher and her classmates. Attending preschool gives your child the chance to learn necessary social skills and acquire habits that will help her grow and thrive as she makes her way into adulthood. Her don't-go phase may be painful right now, but most likely your child will soon settle into a happy routine. Then you can both say "so long" to the bye-bye blues.  

Exit Strategies

Preview the day. In the evening, discuss with your child what's going to happen the next day. Let her know that after she wakes up in the morning, she'll go to school and you'll go to the office. Acting it out with toys can help her work through her emotions.

Accentuate the positive. Remind your child about all the fun she had at school or with the babysitter the day before—then talk about all the great things she'll do after you leave tomorrow. Let her know when you'll be back.

Give your child a concrete deadline she can understand. Explain that you'll be home from work at dinnertime, or in time to give her a bath.