"Everyone who makes it has a mentor," stated the Harvard Business Review three decades ago, and Catalyst has found that four out of five executive women say having a mentor was critical to their success. With all the pressure in a world where we don't eat lunch and can't find time to exercise, how do we develop and sustain the mentoring relationship vital to our success—or to that of the business we're building? Here are seven tips from an experienced mentor, a happy mentee, and a matchmaker.Find a committed mentor. "Many will say 'yes' to being a mentor, but some—due to the pressure of their schedules—won't be committed to cultivating the relationship," says Cynthia Smith, VP, employee service center, MetLife, who found a committed mentor at her company in Grace Cowen, senior VP, customer service and underwriting. Smith did her homework first. "I found out by watching Grace that she's a person of integrity who genuinely cares." An African-American, Smith chose a white mentor for the different perspective she could offer, resulting in "learning in ways not intuitive to me."Go slowly. Women are often reluctant to impose on a mentor, reports Shaunna Black, a manager of worldwide systems who oversees matchmaking at Texas Instruments (TI). "But people really want to be mentors and find the rewards make it worthwhile."When initiating a relationship, start small: Smith asked for some advice from Cowen and built the relationship, and "when it became natural, I was bold and asked her formally." Know what you need. TI's mentees are asked to consider, "If I could have a mentor for a year, what would I discuss?" From the start, have a meeting plan and bring up the issues or incidents where you need guidance. "After the first six to nine months it evolves into a more natural dialogue, into more holistic life discussions," explains Black.Ask for feedback—and act on it. You want not only positive reinforcement, but also clear direction about where you need improvement. But Smith cautions, "Your mentor is busy. She wants to know you're serious about your development, so after feedback, take direct action."Be flexible in connecting. There are no set rules for how often to touch base, "but don't let too much time pass, because you want to keep it an easy conversation," advises Cowen, who talks with Smith at least twice a week, sometimes twice a day. Says her mentee, "Capitalize on every opportunity; it's up to you to connect. If Grace is in the same location, I try to meet with her, but not make it a huge time commitment. Mini-conversations are easier than having her block off calendar time. I feel great because I can call her any time and she'll answer. Or I'll keep calling and calling," laughs Smith. Give back. Mentoring is a two-way street. Pass along information your mentor is not privy to, offer to help with projects, and connect her with people and opportunities you hear about. Rejoice in her success, and when you shine, let some of your stardust fall on her.Know when to end it? but stay in touch. Some matches just lack chemistry, "nothing's wrong with either person, but something indefinable makes communication difficult," says Black. "So we provide a safe place to talk about it, to gracefully exit." She says that less than five percent of matches need such intervention. However, all relationships evolve, so let go when you need new skills your mentor can't provide. But never forget a mentor. Be part of each other's network, or if you're lucky, great friends.