You've picked a seemingly good day-care situation for your baby or toddler. But after a few months, your child still doesn't seem happy there. Although you can't pinpoint the problem, you're thinking that maybe you should make a change. But you know how important consistency is to young children, so should you stay or should you go?Since your baby can't tell you what's wrong—if anything—you must rely on your caregiver for answers. Your day-care provider, nanny or relative should be keeping a log about your child, says Karen Heying, a project manager for the National Infant and Toddler Child Care Initiative at the children's advocacy organization Zero to Three (www.zerotothree.org). "Check the log daily to see if it's consistent with what you see in your child. If it says your baby gets regular tummy time, for instance, you should notice physical development like pushing up or crawling," she says. "If your baby coos all day with you, ask the provider if that happens when you're at work. If not, that might signal a problem." Ditto for a variation from the number of diaper changes you're used to at home. If the daily logs and your experiences don't jibe, try to determine why. There may be a lack of flexibility or a staff transition in the care situation. Also consider changes at home, like your little one moving to a new bedroom. "Babies pick up on seemingly benign changes, so look at anything that might make her feel unhappy or moody," Heying says. And check with your pediatrician to be sure the problem isn't physical.

Assuming your baby is in no danger with your provider (if she is, make a change immediately), talk about your concerns. If you'd like her to be held more, say so. "Give your provider the benefit of the doubt," says Heying, "and gauge willingness to address your issues. Continuity of care is important, so you don't want to change day care until you know your expectations can't be met there."

Your timeline depends upon the situation and what feels right. If your baby's diapers are being changed four times a day instead of her normal six, give it a couple of weeks. But if there is, say, a provider-to-child ratio problem, you may want to make a change ASAP. Babies are resilient, and when you do what's right for yours, she'll probably bounce back fast—your best clue about her well-being.    From Blues to Smiles Day-care solutions from Zero to Three's Karen Heying:

• Build a strong, open relationship with your caregiver. If you expect her to alert you to problems, you too must share your child's habits and changes.
• Pop in for an unannounced visit to see what's going on when you're not around. See how the caregivers interact with other children, as this can offer insight into your own child's behavior.
• Trust your intuition. You know your child best, and sometimes you just have to go with your gut, whether that means sticking it out or making a caregiver change.