For as long as she can remember, Lisa Ong, a Chinese American, has been polite and has respected her elders. It's how she was raised. This behavior is so ingrained in her that it's become part of her personality. As a result, early in her career she always deferred to senior managers and partners. And when colleagues expressed their views in meetings, she'd nod, sending the message that she agreed with them. She often didn't agree—a fact she'd share after the meeting. "My parents taught me not to speak unless spoken to, so I had trouble interrupting others," says Lisa, now director of minority retention and advancement at Price-waterhouseCoopers. "I wouldn't disagree during a meeting but would wait to bring up my points afterward, which frustrated my colleagues. Nodding was my way of acknowledging politely that I'd heard them, not that I agreed with them." A sensitive subjectMisunderstandings like this abound in our increasingly diverse workplace. Cultural behavior styles can be interpreted incorrectly, or colleagues may bring false assumptions or prejudices with them to the office. The result: Women of color say they're often misunderstood in a variety of subtle ways. These communication miscues affect not only how multicultural women interact with their colleagues but also how well they perform their jobs. Since the subject is such a sensitive one, women of color say they're often unsure of how to bring it up. "Even in today's multicultural workplace, people are still uncomfortable talking openly about the nuances of cultural differences," says Jane Hyun, author of Breaking the Bamboo Ceiling: Career Strategies for Asians. "If women of color can sensitively provide constructive feedback to a coworker in a way that builds up and strengthens their connection, it can bring their relationship to a whole new level."More and more companies are helping employees open up this kind of dialogue to bridge cultural gaps. They're administering opinion surveys to gauge worker satisfaction on many issues, including diversity; offering diversity training for all employees, including managers; and promoting mentoring and networks for multicultural employees. According to Kelly Baker, General Mills' vice president of corporate diversity, "it's important for our employees to bring a hundred percent of themselves to work. To that end, networking empowers women to voice important topics and educate one another about cultural differences."The sting of stereotypesTalk to any woman of color and odds are she's well aware of the stereotypes about her race or ethnicity—black women have attitudes, Latinas are too emotional, Asian women are passive. Today, women are increasingly acting against such perceptions. For example, Yvette Galloway Chavis, a graphic artist who is part of an all-African-American department at a business information provider, sees her team strive to have their polished, professional behavior do the talking for them. "My team's work performance, abilities and profession-alism are consistently questioned," Yvette says. "I don't possess any of the stereotypical behaviors associated with black women. I'm professional and reserved at work. In fact, all the African-American women here are reserved and private." Similarly, Jacqueline Velez has sometimes felt that she had to fight stereotypes about Latinas. When she saw opportunities given to less qualified coworkers, even though she had asked for more responsibility, she couldn't help but feel that her heritage was a factor in how she was being judged by higher-ups. "It hurt my pride, and it made me second-guess my work," says Jacqueline, an account manager for a travel and banking company. "I worked hard to prove that I was worthy of promotions and new assignments." She never let on just how hurt she felt. Instead, she heeded the advice given to her by a Hispanic executive: Never let them see you angry; it's a career killer. "I know that Latinas are stereotyped as being fiery in the workplace, but I don't allow people to think this way about me," Jacqueline says. "If I start to feel emotional, I'll take a walk to clear my head or I'll take a deep breath."A protective distanceLike Yvette and Jacqueline, other women of color also find that being proactive, rather than reactive, is the best way to dispel stereotypes at work. "The conduct of others is outside of our control," says Jessica Faye Carter, author of Double Outsiders: How Women of Color Can Succeed in Corporate America. "So we control the one thing we can—ourselves." Maintaining a protective distance is another coping device used by many multicultural women. If you don't share too much of yourself, the thinking goes, people can't use it against you. Such reserve, however, can stand in the way of being known as an individual, which Carter believes is essential to quell stereotypical thinking. She advises women of color to educate colleagues about their unique attributes. "Share information about yourself and help them get to know you as a person," she says. "It will go a long way toward dispelling negative perceptions of you based on race." Good intentionsEven colleagues who mean well can have blind spots, and often it's an innocent comment rather than blatant stereotypical views that creates a chasm between women of color and their coworkers. "Many women of color encounter colleagues who think it's funny to try out slang terminology or to use a few words from a person's native language in jest," says Carter. Names can also create barriers. "People often ask if they can call me by a different name because they're uncomfortable saying mine," says Shilpa Gadkari, an Indian American and the director of forecasting for a major cosmetics company. She'll never forget the first time one of her colleagues brought up her name: "A coworker said, 'Your name is too tough to say. How about we call you Shelby?'" Shilpa good-naturedly asked if she could start calling him Jim. "He said, 'You can't do that. My name is John,'" she recalls. "So I replied nicely, 'Right. And my name is Shilpa. You can learn to say it. I'm very patient.'" These days when she gets the name-change request, her response is always the same: "I smile and say, 'My name is Shilpa. It's easy once you get used to it.'" A culture of inclusionCompanies are aware that having conversations about race is necessary—but not easy. Hyun recommends that women of color gently inform colleagues of their blind spots and insensitive comments, as they're often unaware of hurtful behavior. She emphasizes that it's important to be careful with tone and delivery. "Most people are reasonable, and chances are your colleagues will respond positively to your feedback and will be grateful for the corrections," she says. Indeed, many companies are working to facilitate the conversation. By making a commitment to diversity, companies such as Citi, Ernst & Young, General Mills and PricewaterhouseCoopers set the stage for better understanding within their melting-pot workforce. "To have an environment that truly values diversity of thought and inclusiveness of all people, it's absolutely essential to heighten all people's awareness of cultural differences," says Billie Williamson, partner and Americas director of flexibility and gender equity strategy at Ernst & Young.Progressive companies also aim to give women of color a voice and a sense of community. Employee networks provide a forum where women of color can connect with each other, while mentoring programs encourage multicultural women to share their insights with corporate leaders. "Our goal is to recognize, understand and respect all the ways we differ," says Baker from General Mills. Such efforts are bridging cultural gaps and bolstering engagement for everyone. At PwC, Lisa has seen firsthand how simply being comfortable communicating with a colleague can make a world of difference. "We are encouraged to put ourselves in each other's shoes," she says. Today, when Asian employees admit they're reluctant to speak up in meetings or disagree with a partner in front of the team, the partner will sit down with the staffer and encourage her to share her point of view, noting that different perspectives are appreciated and necessary. Women of color are speaking up in another way as well. Firms rely on employee opinion surveys to take the pulse of workers' satisfaction on many issues, including diversity, and women of color view these surveys as a perfect opportunity to let their companies know what's working—and what's not—when it comes to inclusion efforts. Says Ana Duarte McCarthy, chief diversity officer at Citi: "Diversity needs to be part of a company's DNA." Once it's in the fabric of a firm, it becomes much easier for everyone to have candid conversations.