We live in a diverse society—but our society still struggles to embrace all its differences. You may understand this because you've faced challenges in your multicultural workplace. And your grade schooler may face similar challenges when peers make comments like "Your name is weird" or ask, "How come you don't have a Christmas tree?" Kids may not mean to be hurtful, but the things they say can feel bad to a child who is acutely aware of her dark skin, the scarf covering her head or the fact that no one else in her class takes Hebrew lessons. She may even grow to feel shame about her heritage, which can lead to low self-esteem and depression. But there's a lot you can do to help your child handle subtle and not-so-subtle racial teasing. And it starts with ethnic pride. "Making sense of cultural differences is not easy for children," says child psychologist Sylvia Rimm, PhD, the author of How to Parent So Children Will Learn. "But by honoring family traditions, you can instill in your child a love of heritage and also help her cope in sticky situations." Start by telling detailed stories about your own childhood or about grand-parents and other relatives, which can nurture your child's pride in her background and culture. As you celebrate holidays with your community, invite your child's school friends to be part of it. Consider bringing a cultural show-and-tell to school. Talk to her teacher, who'll most likely be happy to give you and your child time in class to make a simple presentation (see "Take Your Culture to School"). "When your child sees peers of other backgrounds enjoying her family traditions, she'll become more comfortable with them, too," says Dr. Rimm. Remember also to help your child cultivate friendships within her cultural community. Kids with common backgrounds and experiences can support and comfort each other.In addition, be aware of events that might spur name-calling, teasing or other embarrassment. For example, some Islamic-American children are picked on as a result of 9/11 and the Iraq war. In situations like this, help your child understand what's going on in the world while also assuring her that she has no connection to these events. You could say, "We come from a beautiful, time-honored culture. But unfortunately there are some people of our faith who are hurting others, and that's wrong." Adds Dr. Rimm, "This gives your child something to say in case she's put on the spot by other kids."Many children feel pressure and confusion as they try to fit in with school peers while also honoring family customs. By celebrating your traditions and keeping the lines of communication open, you'll help your child become proud of all that she is. 

Take Your Culture to School

• To share your child's proud heritage with her friends: Teach her classmates a few words in your native language, a traditional song or dance, or games that are played in your country of origin. Bring children's books that celebrate your culture and read aloud from one or two.
• Wear ethnic clothes or costumes and bring props or symbols that correspond with special rituals. The kids will learn something and love it!