Q: My child is having a tough time at school. Is it okay to discuss personal problems like this one at work?

A: In a nutshell, no. As a working mother, you may be tempted to rely
on office colleagues for emotional support, but resist the temptation
in this case. Even that coworker who listens so empathetically to your
troubles may also be thinking: How can we count on this person who's so
distracted and unreliable? How will it affect her job performance? Is
she going to need extra time off?

Which is not to say that you need to keep your personal life in a
lockbox. Sharing stories about your kids and your family is a great way
to build relationships with colleagues as well as employees
and supervisors. When you face rocky times, though, you have to
remember that personal issues are only personal for you. At work, they
have the potential to become performance issues.

If you have a colleague or two you trust to be discreet, by all means
share your worries about your child. But keep in mind, nothing travels
faster on the office grapevine than a drama. Beyond a very tight inner circle,
present troubles with your chin up. If you need to, explain that your
child is going through school challenges, but you have good resources
and support. Remain professional and avoid signs or talk of distress,
and you won't invite questions. You can give colleagues a brief sense
of how you're doing, and then it's on to work.

The bigger issue, of course, is how you will survive beneath this
veneer of professionalism. Chances are, you're going to need support,
whether it's long talks with a partner, lunches with friends or
professional counseling (don't overlook your company's employee
assistance program). So get out your calendar and line up as many
shoulders as you can to lean on. Once you know you're supported
emotionally, you'll feel less overwhelmed and more ready to take this
new crisis in stride.